bridget

my phones gunna die

[bridget @fidgetboner]

Fuck the dairy industry tho

[ghosthoney @tylergaca]

this year I do wanna learn to run on all fours really fast almost too fast

[lyssterine @lilachoneybee]

my new year resolution is to slay

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

Gay santa be like sleigh

[Brady @pebbut]

boobs should have nicotine in them and you should be able to hit them like a vape

[bridget @fidgetboner]

Sometimes the softest spoons have to lift the hardest scoops

[KT @artkaisucks]

me on my way to see my boyfriend who I love so much

[𖦹 @swirldaworld]

culinary school students be like “bruh i got spaghetti due at midnight 😰”

[teryn @youngtiddy]

they should make a beer that doesn’t taste like that

[C @HeronChe]

Why are threesomes only for sex why can’t I join in a couples argument if I want to

[Julicorn @ChicksRule]

Joke‘s on you, this just means I’m not returning

[Peter TOTO💜 @petermarietoto]

caffeine and weed should theoretically balance each other out but instead it feels like doing the cotton eyed joe to tracy chapman's fast car

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

Disney: “Remember, Phil. It’s a cartoon about a man raised by gorillas. Nothing too crazy.”

[Wraith LaFrentz @WraithLaFrentz]

There are way too many different types of beetles for God to not be at least on the spectrum

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

hey sorry i’m late i was on google maps doing every corn maze in the american southwest

[UnLucky Trashcan𖤐 @EthanOpia_]

Treating myself tonight

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

“drag will confuse kids” what the hell is this