Finley Robinson

I help moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds amplify their power-decade of parenting. | Father of 3 and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

Today is my son's last day of high school.

To be honest, it only felt real about 48 hours ago.

13 years of school and today is his last day.

If I could go back and coach myself up at each stage, what would I say to myself?

🧵Here are the 3 prompts for each of the 5 Stages:

[Nick Huber @sweatystartup]

My advice to 25 year olds:

Get married young and have more kids than you can afford.

I've never met anyone who wishes they'd had fewer kids.

But I've met a lot of people who regret waiting so long or having so few.

Every 60+ year old that I know cares about one thing above all else:

Their kids and grandkids.

[The Masters @TheMasters]

Rory McIlroy is the Masters champion. #themasters

[Arkansas Baseball @RazorbackBSB]

From the desk of Carolyn's son 🐗

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@denk_tweets @BUnlimited would do an incredible job for you. send me a DM if you'd like me to help connect you with their top notch team.

[David Perell @david_perell]

I went from thinking the Bible was the most boring book ever to seeing the magic in it.

Years ago, I realized that the Bible is the foundational book of Western civilization. If I was going to be an educated person, I needed to know what it said. Though I was motivated to learn about it, I didn't have the patience to read it or the knowledge to understand it.

Generally, I try to follow my 4th-grade English teacher's advice to read things first-hand. But the Bible seemed too hard, too boring, and too confusing to read on my own. It was a snooze fest. The stories felt outdated in a world of smartphones and fast Internet. Living in the modern world, shouldn’t I be rooting my life in modern books, modern studies, and modern authors?

At the time, I was living in New York when a friend introduced me to the work of Tim Keller. I reluctantly found time to put down the self-help and picked up two of his books instead: The Reason for God and Making Sense of God. It was around that time when I discovered Keller's Questioning Christianity lecture series.

Instead of focusing on the Bible directly, Keller focused on Christianity's relationship with culture and the modern world. He spoke to career-driven Gordon Gekkos who were driven by the glories of the material world, but sensed the emptiness at the heart of such a single-minded pursuit. Instead of referencing scripture directly, he spoke about big-picture themes like identity and purpose, morality and meaning.

This was back when I thought all Christians had the intelligence of sidewalk pigeons. I would scoff at church-goers because I didn’t understand why anyone would worship a sky fairy or follow rules from thousands of years ago. Keller was the guide I needed.

For the first few years, I looked at faith through a cultural lens instead of reading the Bible directly. I literally knew nothing about Jesus or Christianity — and I came to realize how little I knew about my own atheism too. In school, while studying the Declaration of Independence, I’d learned that it’s “self-evident” that “all men are created equal.” Turns out, this defining American ideal is only self-evident if you assume that every person has inherent worth because they’re made in the image of God. I was stumped. Where did my moral compass come from? Do people have inherent value? And if so, is it because every human is a child of God?

In addition to advocating for the life of Jesus and the truth of his message, Keller revealed the many assumptions underlying my own atheistic worldview. He taught me that every worldview requires a leap of faith. Sure, Christianity couldn’t perfectly explain everything in the universe, but then again, neither can any worldview. Astrophysicists say that much of the universe is made up of “dark matter,” which is a scientific-sounding way to talk about a leap of faith

Though I did some Bible studies, I never enjoyed them. They felt more like reading tedious academic papers than drinking directly from the fountain of God’s wisdom. Instead of reading Scripture directly, I joined a small Christian reading group where I was the only non-believer. By showing me coherent ways to interpret reality besides my science-based materialism, books like The Story of Reality and I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist loosened the screws on my atheism.

My palate was beginning to change. Like a fine wine, the same flavors that were once repulsive to me started to appeal to my intellectual taste buds. I surrounded myself with wise Christians who were orthodox about scripture and eager to answer my hardest questions about faith. I asked them to dinner and invited myself to Church with them.

This marked a new era. Once again, I found some guides: books, Internet sources, and an in-person leader to show me the way. On the Internet, I'd turn to The Bible Project to answer my big-picture thematic questions. I picked up the ESV Study Bible, which I still read every day on the white boucle couch in my living room (if you like reading on the computer, I recommend The Bible Study App by Olive Tree).

For years, I’d stiff-armed the Bible. Now, I was skipping to a 7am Bible Study led by a devout believer who'd been reading God's word every day for almost a quarter-century, and wasn’t afraid to rebuke my theology.

What surprised me most was how carefully we read. I admired the integrity of our study. We live in a culture of binge-reading where people boast about how many books they can complete in a given year. We did the opposite. We never read more than ~20 verses in a single session and dissected every word, every verse, and every story. (I once spent two hours studying John 1:1-4 — just four verses at a strip mall Schlotzsky's in the Texas Hill Country.)

Never in my life had I read so deliberately. I spent months in the books of Ephesians, Romans, John, and 2 Corinthians, and there's no way I would've known how to read the Bible so diligently on my own. I learned to look beyond English translations, and I use the BibleHub to look up the original Greek and Hebrew whenever possible.

For a translation, I recommend the English Standard Version (ESV) (no, you don’t need to read the King James Version). And If you're going to pick two books, I recommend the Gospel of John and the Book of Romans. Either find a guide to read them carefully with you or follow along with The Bible Project and The ESV Study Bible. Whatever you do, read slowly.

I used to be a serial consumer who’d brag about how many books I read every year. I’d pick up anything and everything. The more, the merry. But the more I study the Bible, the more careful I’ve become about who I read and listen to. Gone are my days as a serial consumer. Frauds, charlatans, and false teachers abound, so be skeptical and vet your sources. In all this time, I’ve had no more than ten serious teachers. Fortunately, that’s all you need.

I became a believer on March 20th of this year, four years after attending my first Tim Keller lecture, and the Bible is alive for me now like no book I've ever read.

These days, I read the Bible and basically nothing else.

Opening it up is the best part of my daily routine. The words twinkle. The stories are supernatural. It's a living, breathing document, and I wholeheartedly believe it's the Word of God, which makes every other book feel dim by comparison.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

A Changed Man...

10 Specific Ways I'm Different Because I'm A Father

• A better cook
• A deeper faith
• A healthier body
• A bigger purpose
• A better marriage

• More patience
• More disciplined
• More friendships
• More core memories
• More aware of my weaknesses

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@Erichealthcoach Option 1 (non-negotiable): Play hard with your kids. Chase, jump & ride.

Option 2 (semi-negotiable): The early years of parenting prioritize not losing ground physically.

Option 3 (negotiable): Choose a big physical goal and go for it. *I trained for my 1st marathon at age 30.

[Jon Finkel📚💪 @Jon_Finkel]

I was in 4 grade schools in 5 years growing up.

I still get a pit in my stomach when I think of the 1st day in a new classroom because being a new kid sucks

These are 5 things I tell my son & daughter to do when they see a new student having it rough:

1/ Pay Attention to the Edges

As a new kid, recess is terrifying.

Seems like everyone is playing. Having fun. Except you.

I tell my kids to scope the edges of the field/playground.

Who's wandering solo? Who's alone?

Introduce yourself. Ask them to play. It's HUGE.

2/ No Lonely Lunches

Second to recess, lunch is a tough time.

Feels like everyone has someone so sit/eat/talk with and you don't. So you sit alone.

I ask my kids to sit next to the kid eating alone. Or ask the new kid to join their table.

The gesture itself goes a long way.

3/ Avoid "Choose a Partner" Purgatory

When you're a new kid and the teacher says, "partner up" for a project...

Man, you get chills. You KNOW nobody is asking you.

I ask my kids to be on the lookout for this.

And if possible, pick the kid you know doesn't know anybody.

Tiny act. Big effect.

4/ A Basic "How Are You?"

New kids feel super isolated. It stinks.

I remember days where it felt like no other kid even notices you.

A simple, "Hey! What's up?" could mean the world.

Shows someone sees you.

And that you're not invisible...

5/ Smile

The simplest of all gestures.

When you're a new kid in a new school you'd kill for a friendly face to acknowledge you.

Too often, it feels like you're drowning in a sea of strangers...

But often all it takes is one smile to pull you out of a funk. Just an big, full smile when you walk by someone let's you know that there are nice people around.

And you smile back... And now you feel better.

Easy.

It's been several decades since my last 1st day of school as a new kid.

I can still feel it.

And that's why I hammer home these points to my kids at the end of every summer.

Thanks for reading and please share with other parents.

Hopefully this'll help one new kid adjust sooner.

And follow me @Jon_Finkel for more dad columns like this.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

The 3 Broad Stages of Parenting:

• Win
• Coach
• Release

The earliest years are marked by winning their heart on your knees.

The middle years are shaped by coaching their heart with your ears & mouth.

The final years are determined by releasing their heart with your faith.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

"What does the 'cc' stand for on an email?"

A question my 18-year-old son just asked me.

I've never felt so old and so worried for his future in the workplace at the same time.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

Family Trips vs. Vacations

A "family trip" is about doing life how you normally do it with kids, but in a different location and usually with a special twist.

A "vacation" is a recharge or adventure for you as a parent. Your time is spent doing whatever you can dream up!

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

All 3 of my offspring have now passed their driver’s test. Whew!

It feels like a Dad chapter has now closed.

Not closed however is the monthly insurance premiums, the gas for 5 cars and the occasional Life 360 checkin.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@AaronAmeen 5 year olds should start in kindergarten with a second language.

It should carry all the way through junior high at least.

Most every other country in the world does this with English and I've long believed that American kids would benefit from second language exposure early.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@AhnaleeB Your concern as a Tween parent is super valid!

We set 13yrs old as the mark for our children and we were in the last 25% of families to hand over a phone.

I believe our best decision was to delay social media until they proved responsible for the phone and had build trust.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@dbustac Well, it's been a while since I wrote it but here you go.

It was long before I learned some @ship30for30 writing strategies but it was my first attempt as a lead gen for a business that never took off!

https://t.co/B6PLDZp6Su

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@dannyreeves1 Welcome back Danny and nice to be introduced at the same time! LFG is right.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@dylan_bridger I recognize I'm an outlier here, but I favor C and here's why...

1. "Exactly" delivers some precision
2. "Some" conveys honesty & authenticity
3. No "finger lifting" is intriguing and makes me curious

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

I got to spend 1-on-1 time with both of my teenage daughters last night.

Had and impromptu dinner with my youngest then we did a little storm chasing.

Helped my oldest move into her college house then we stayed up and talked life.

I’ll remember that sweet night for awhile.

[Finley Robinson @finrobinson]

@GinStLawrence It’s safe to say they are “received” when they come from your @ConvertKit account.

I’ve found the biggest fight is to consistently land in the Primary folder instead of Promotions.

Asking new subs to move your email to Primary helps open rates and helps them take action early.