Muhammad Fiqli Akbar

kipli.

[nukewar @nuke_war_]

Why do Chinese call everything Ali? Aliexpress, Alibaba, Alipay. Are they Shia?

[Ultima @UltimaShadowX]

This is crazy, they are forcing gamers to learn how to have a relationship, this just might be the greatest trojan horse of all time.

[1️⃣ @LeekNabers]

just met a cute girl at this wedding i’m at

like actually cute. objectively dangerous face card.

we’re talking. vibes are immaculate. she’s laughing at my jokes. i’m in my bag.

then sports get brought up, she says it

“i watch football”

my ears PERKED up

i played it cool. i said “oh nice, what’s your team”

she said “i’m a giants fan”

and that’s where a normal person would’ve said “cool, me too” and gotten her number

but i am not a normal person

my brain instantly went into terminal mode and i said “what do you think of the team?”

she looked confused

i kept going

“Darius Slayton as our WR2? Are you kidding me. Matt Nagy as our OC? Did you see what he did to Patrick Mahomes? Our franchise qb and franchise edge rusher hate each other. And we traded away our superstar DT”

she laughed nervously and said “what”

and i said “And don’t even get me started on Cam Skattebo basically trying to get himself injured”

she said “what”

and i said “so do you even follow the team”

she said “I literally have a Darius Slayton Jersey”

the vibe was GONE

just vanished. Just like Daniel Jones in primetime.

her friend pulled her away. she didn’t look back.

i was standing there alone at a wedding holding a drink i wasn’t even sipping, doing MENTAL MATH on how someone could claim to be a giants fan and think this Darius Slayton deserved that contract.

my cousin walked over and said “bro she looked into you what happened”

i said “she’s a casual”

he said “so?”

SO???

i then realized i would rather cut off my entire family than to share a bloodline with someone of the same species that couldn’t comprehend this

she had a pretty face but a DISGUSTING perspective on life that i just couldn’t get behind

could’ve had her number

she could’ve been the mother of my children

COULD’VE.

but now at least she knows i know ball

and honestly that’s worth more

[Champ✨ @Ib_ra_himm]

POV: The professor opening my exam realizing he's the dragon warrior

[Duolingo Indonesia @Duolingo_IDN]

temen expat gw beli bakso, dia cuman bergumam, banyak sekali pelanggaran hak cipta disini.
makan. pulang.

dah gt aja

[𝕄𝕒𝕩 (𝔹𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕠)ℕ𝕖𝕣𝕠 🦓 @MaksJuventino]

Good night 😴

[mas jono @yogvxp]

tadi di masjid tempat gue jumatan, khatibnya ngomong sendiri

[The Tennis Letter @TheTennisLetter]

Carlos Alcaraz and Novak Djokovic will face each other in the Australian Open Final

Novak leads the head to head 5-4, but Carlos won their last meeting.

Djokovic beat Carlos here last season in the quarterfinals.

Novak is playing his 11th Australian Open final

Carlos is playing his first.

The 38 year old vs the 22 year old.

Both chasing more history.

Who wins? 🇪🇸🇷🇸

[mariana Z @mariana057]

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

For example:
- Jane ate her friend's sandwich.

- Jane ate her friend's colon.

[Ross Sayers @Sayers33]

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand t-shirt. She couldn't even name 3 other main causes of the outbreak of World War I

[Boston Smalls @smalls2672]

5 million mike Tysons vs 1000 Ironmans

[Jae @Real_jaeflex]

One insanely good winger or attacking midfielder is rotting away there. 😭😭

[Persibverse 𝕏 @Persib_world]

don’t you dare bother him

[MaverickSZN 🇦🇺 @Maverick_SZN]

Same energy

[Big El 🏝️ @BlackKyle5]

“Whoever can't name a football team starting with B, drinks”
My girlfriend: Barcelona
Me: Bayern Munich
My girl's gay bestfriend: Besiktas
Me:

[mahdi. @mahdinosaur]

If you understand this tolong jaga kesehatan, banyak olahraga.

[Rohan Javet Beg @RohanBeg]

The Maphilindo federation would have boasted three things:

1) A global mecca of culture and cuisine.

2) The funniest people on the planet.

3) Galactic levels of corruption.

[SobatMiskinTV @MiskinTV_]

🔥🔥🔥