Fizzer Rippon

I would be quite a good radio presenter if I just kept my mouth shut

[Fizzers Radio Show @FizzersRadio]

PRE ANNOUNCEMENT - (ok, its just an announcement. In the same way that pre ordering things is just - ordering things, but this sounds more erm teasy, anyway) We are super excited to announce that tomorrow night we will be announcing (🙄) a new monthly... https://t.co/Q1OqlJEA1A

[Fizzers Radio Show @FizzersRadio]

Oasis and The Smiths simultaneously announce they have a one off reunion gig on the same day and your " loved one" buys you a ticket to see Oasis do you:

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

@Se_Railway @TfL That blows. Do you know if there are any plans for Southeastern to provide Oyster or similar?

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

@Se_Railway HI, I have a company Oyster Card but I want to travel from Rainham to London without needing to change at Dartford to touch in. Is there a way to pay for the journey to Dartford and use Oyster at other end?

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

@Se_Railway No. It is auto top up.

[Jules Suzdaltsev @jules_su]

I mean, he’s literally just translating Mein Kampf at this point.

[Andy Stamp @CllrAndyStamp]

Time is running out to have your say on the proposed closure of the Sunlight GP Surgery in #Gillingham and the DMC GP Surgery in #Twydall

Make your voice heard by emailing [email protected]
with your comments. Consultation closes tomorrow, 13th August.
#SaveOurSurgery

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

Government sponsors incest boom. https://t.co/89tOqC9Xnk

[marf @MarfSalvador]

[Deathbed confession]

Death: I shit the bed last night

[marf @MarfSalvador]

@ConfessContest https://t.co/MAsHj2ieT7

[marf @MarfSalvador]

Me: I want to join a gang but there's an initiation
Therapist: What?
M: Drinking poo
T: How do you feel?
M: I'm downin the dumps
T: Get out

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

2 Druids are on the roof of the met office dressed as Batman & Robin. They are Fathers for Solstice. And they're looking Sirius  #PNDYSRVC

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

#PNDYSRVC I'm fairly comfortable in most seasons. Buy summer the time it's too hot.

[marf @MarfSalvador]

Kanye West: My new album drops tomorrow
Isaac Newton: You're welcome

[Graham Linehan @Glinner]

Using Uber in Chicago and it's certainly the fastest way to summon a psychopath who can't drive.

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

When Facebook links a story of a real life decapitation on a train with a scene from The Young… https://t.co/xYatf3uacO

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

It's a 7 inch kind of afternoon.
#7inchesisenough https://t.co/6szLrr6neZ

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

Hmm, I wonder what this is all about.
#itsaboutwatermate https://t.co/9Ms1RFqZBj

[Fizzer Rippon @fizzerrippon]

If you allow it to be an option I'm allowed to try it! It was incorrect by the way.… https://t.co/NmMrACMIsa