John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

do unto others

[John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt @floopiegoobie]

Cunty Rustin Cohle

[best of better call saul @bestofsaulgood]

Better Call Saul-inspired merch for the real ones ↓ https://t.co/5JTZW8QoDb

[davey @justdaveyjustin]

Breathing in hefty lungfuls of smoke as I get explosive diarrhea from salad, the sky turns apocalyptic orange while oil companies drill in protected lands, screwworms are eating cattle alive and the president just paid $6 million for rape. And I’m also able to bet on all of it!

[JJ Watt @JJWatt]

The woman in the photo grew up literally down the road, won 4 Utah state championships (1 in this exact stadium), Gatorade Player of the Year twice, National Player of the Year, scored the fastest first goal in USWNT history…

Could probably be worth a mention, but idk.

[#STUNTHIVE @RevolutionNak]

I need Waffle House staff loyalty or nothing.

[Russians With Attitude @RWApodcast]

Pezeshkian wrote a 1,000-word open letter to the American people. It is objectively very short and to the point. But I am afraid he is a victim of the Iranian tradition of overestimating American attention spans and cognitive capabilities.

[The Kobeissi Letter @KobeissiLetter]

IRAN'S FULL "OPEN LETTER" TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE:

"To the people of the United States of America, and to all those who, amid a flood of distortions and manufactured narratives, continue to seek the truth and aspire to a better life:

Iran—by this very name, character, and identity—is one of the oldest continuous civilizations in human history. Despite its historical and geographical advantages at various times, Iran has never, in its modern history, chosen the path of aggression, expansion, colonialism, or domination. Even after enduring occupation, invasion, and sustained pressure from global powers—and despite possessing military superiority over many of its neighbors—Iran has never initiated a war. Yet it has resolutely and bravely repelled those who have attacked it.

The Iranian people harbor no enmity toward other nations, including the people of America, Europe, or neighboring countries. Even in the face of repeated foreign interventions and pressures throughout their proud history, Iranians have consistently drawn a clear distinction between governments and the peoples they govern. This is a deeply rooted principle in Iranian culture and collective consciousness—not a temporary political stance.

For this reason, portraying Iran as a threat is neither consistent with historical reality nor with present-day observable facts. Such a perception is the product of political and economic whims of the powerful— the need to manufacture an enemy in order to justify pressure, maintain military dominance, sustain the arms industry, and control strategic markets. In such an environment, if a threat does not exist, it is invented.

Within this same framework, the United States has concentrated the largest number of its forces, bases, and military capabilities around Iran—a country that, at least since the founding of the United States, has never initiated a war. Recent American aggressions launched from these very bases have demonstrated how threatening such a military presence truly is. Naturally, no country confronted with such conditions would forgo strengthening its defensive capabilities. What Iran has done—and continues to do—is a measured response grounded in legitimate self-defense, and by no means an initiation of war or aggression.

Relations between Iran and the United States were not originally hostile, and early interactions between the Iranian and American people were not marred with hostility or tension. The turning point, however, was the 1953 coup d’état—an illegal American intervention aimed at preventing the nationalization of Iran’s own resources. That coup disrupted Iran’s democratic process, reinstated dictatorship, and sowed deep distrust among Iranians toward U.S. policies. This distrust deepened further with America’s support for the Shah’s regime, its backing of Saddam Hussein during the imposed war of the 1980s, the imposition of the longest and most comprehensive sanctions in modern history, and ultimately, unprovoked military aggression—twice, in the midst of negotiations—against Iran.

Yet all these pressures have failed to weaken Iran. On the contrary, the country has grown stronger in many areas: literacy rates have tripled—from roughly 30% before the Islamic Revolution to over 90% today; higher education has expanded dramatically; significant advances have been achieved in modern technology; healthcare services have improved; and infrastructure has developed at a pace and scale incomparable to the past. These are measurable, observable realities that stand independent of fabricated narratives.

At the same time, the destructive and inhumane impact of sanctions, war, and aggression on the lives of the resilient Iranian people must not be underestimated. The continuation of military aggression and recent bombings profoundly affect people’s lives, attitudes, and perspectives. This reflects a fundamental human truth: when war inflicts irreparable harm on lives, homes, cities, and futures, people will not remain indifferent toward those responsible.

This raises a fundamental question: Exactly which of the American people’s interests are truly being served by this war? Was there any objective threat from Iran to justify such behavior? Does the massacre of innocent children, the destruction of cancer-treatment pharmaceutical facilities, or boasting about bombing a country “back to the stone ages” serve any purpose other than further damaging the United States’ global standing?
Iran pursued negotiations, reached an agreement, and fulfilled all its commitments. The decision to withdraw from that agreement, escalate toward confrontation, and launch two acts of aggression in the midst of negotiations were destructive choices made by the U.S. government—choices that served the delusions of a foreign aggressor.

Attacking Iran’s vital infrastructure—including energy and industrial facilities—directly targets the Iranian people. Beyond constituting a war crime, such actions carry consequences that extend far beyond Iran’s borders. They generate instability, increase human and economic costs, and perpetuate cycles of tension, planting seeds of resentment that will endure for years. This is not a demonstration of strength; it is a sign of strategic bewilderment and an inability to achieve a sustainable solution.

Is it not also the case that America has entered this aggression as a proxy for Israel, influenced and manipulated by that regime? Is it not true that Israel, by manufacturing an Iranian threat, seeks to divert global attention away from its crimes toward the Palestinians? Is it not evident that Israel now aims to fight Iran to the last American soldier and the last American taxpayer dollar—shifting the burden of its delusions onto Iran, the region, and the United States itself in pursuit of illegitimate interests?

Is “America First” truly among the priorities of the U.S. government today?

I invite you to look beyond the machinery of misinformation—an integral part of this aggression—and instead speak with those who have visited Iran. Observe the many accomplished Iranian immigrants—educated in Iran—who now teach and conduct research at the world’s most prestigious universities, or contribute to the most advanced technology firms in the West. Do these realities align with the distortions you are being told about Iran and its people?

Today, the world stands at crossroads. Continuing along the path of confrontation is more costly and futile than ever before. The choice between confrontation and engagement is both real and consequential; its outcome will shape the future for generations to come. Throughout its millennia of proud history, Iran has outlasted many aggressors. All that remains of them are tarnished names in history, while Iran endures—resilient, dignified, and proud."

[Async (in SF) @asynchronous_x]

We got dudes literally making the Pipboy from Fallout for the entire earth and you’re blackpilling??

[John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt @floopiegoobie]

After BILLIONS (not an exaggeration) of commercials pandering to men with soft dicks, I have FINALLY seen a commercial for a vagainal probiotic pill let’s goooo. They asked my if my coochie stank even. This is progress

[John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt @floopiegoobie]

I asked some random woman to tell the dj to play percolator( I’m NOT standing in line) and you could never guess what played next. Thank you stranger lady I owe you.

[mattparlmer 🪐 🌷 @mattparlmer]

This sure looks like the exact “feds disarm and smoke a concealed carrier” scenario that a lot of gun owners on the right consider to be their clear red line

[Probably at DC’s @WhyWeDrinkHere]

How watching the end of the Bears and Packers game felt

[John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt @floopiegoobie]

It’s crazy how amazing and beautiful life is when you don’t work tomorrow

[John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt @floopiegoobie]

@mariaeatsworms @Davidseeds Lil bro seasoned

[John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt @floopiegoobie]

Why would you make a band with the homies and then just name it after one dude. Never made any sense to me

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @ijustbluemyself]

Blow up love island @iran

[John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt @floopiegoobie]

My dumb ass just connected the dots lmaooo