Girl Fieri

a curmudgeon living atop Mt. Crumpit (she/her)

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

@asiakoala We (people with no hair volume) deserve representation too!

[venus @venuslovesrats]

eat the cheese

[pj @pjayevans]

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love seeing my boy Rick charge his wife for popcorn at amc

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

@asiakoala I’m lobbying to make it illegal for anyone to shop at the same time as me

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

idc if i'm the villain in your story cuz you're a bumfuck loser in mine lmao

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

@e_gala_oost This was me with the foot long sonic chili cheese dog

[tashington @tashpocket]

wishing the inmates success in their endeavors!

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

Mom groups on f*cebook are always like “NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS OR YOU’RE BLOCKED hey mamas does anyone have any recommendations on [unbelievably unsafe baby product or practice that has been widely proven to be harmful or deadly to children]?”

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

(to be fair I’m the one who started the cars conversation)

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

My husbands family group chat: normal conversation and pictures of kids and family

My family group chat: What if there were cars in the Lord of the Rings universe?

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

The mufasa trailer ran before my movie last night and when it said “songs by Lin Manuel Miranda” I forgot I was in public and literally screamed “NOOOOOO”

[☣ᴢᴇɴɪᴛꜱᴜ☣ @zenitsu__cooks]

Why would she say this?

[Elmo @elmo]

It's a 2pm surprise! The number of the day is two! ✌️❤️

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

@asiakoala Reminds me of when we were asked to speak our lines in the sheep song when we were interns

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

@Mythical Tinned oysters topped with salt and Taco Bell fire sauce (at least 2 packets)

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

“It’s a love letter to Broadway” “It’s a love letter to Hollywood” how about a love letter to shutting the fuck up

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

Unfortunately this is the vibe for today

[Girl Fieri @floydlumpkin]

I used to think that the world records in the Guinness Book were things that just happened during daily life, as if one day a guy just had to put on 184 socks on one foot for whatever reason and then the Guinness people just heard about it