A-B

Just some guy. (he/him)

[A-B @fmlsux]

"There's this voice," the tiny hobo said, taking a long pull on his cigarette in the dark freight car. "Keeps on calling me," he exhaled.

[A-B @fmlsux]

The Littlest Hobo bounced from town to town, helping idiots solve problems a dog can solve.

[A-B @fmlsux]

@nadia_detriment

[A-B @fmlsux]

So, they're rebooting The Littlest Hobo? That dog gotta be old af by now, get outta my face.

[Adam Wilson @theleanover]

looking at photos of Nigella Lawson

[xbox 360 @xbawxbaws]

Joe rogan guest : yeah I didnt know weed was illegal in Mexico, I thought I was going to get out of jail that Monday, I ended up doing 8 years.
Joe Rogan: wow, that's crazy.. hey Jamie, look up what a year is and then what 8 of them are

[A-B @fmlsux]

We finished Charlotte's Web tonight; everyone was bawling and my youngest wished the pig died instead of the spider. 20 minutes later, she asked me to kill a spider in her room.

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Burger without veggies you might as well had ate meatloaf you fuckin
puma

[Nate @thenatewolf]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and nice sounds are in the earhole of the sound hearer.

[A-B @fmlsux]

@Meredvth Please do. Just mail me one, bruh. Who would know?

[A-B @fmlsux]

I'm jealous of Meredith's djarum

[A-B @fmlsux]

Who calls me in my office on a Friday? Don't they realize that's the Sabbath of the 5-day work week?

[A-B @fmlsux]

@nadia_detriment Excellent use of alas.

[A-B @fmlsux]

@nadia_detriment This one?

[A-B @fmlsux]

How sure are we that the crew of the Artemis II didn't pick up a highly hostile, shape-shifting extraterrestrial organism on the dark side of the moon? We're gonna need bearded Kurt Russell to vet these folks.

[A-B @fmlsux]

Fuck Tims and their liquid laxatives and leaky lids.

[A-B @fmlsux]

Welcome to the time of year when the jacket you needed for 10 minutes this morning becomes a burden you have to carry for the rest of the day. Dragons, I'd like to introduce you to the disposable coat, a cost-effective ecological travesty breaking the shackles of Spring weather.

[dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch]

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early

astronaut: moon's haunted

nasa employee: what?

astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

[BVIP 🎮💎 @SoyBvip]

Si sabes que es, podemos ser amigos toda la vida…