You have all these wild dreams for your life and then one day you’re 40, standing in an elevator at work saying “Well, we made it to Wednesday!” to a stranger.
Menopause is such a fun little season of life
You're exhausted by 2 PM, wide awake at 3 AM, overstimulated by group texts, mysteriously puffier than yesterday, your brain clocks out mid-sentence, and you are one chewing sound away from a felony.
I love that for us
Oh look at me I’m New York City. I have a cool socialist mayor. My basketball team has perfect vibes and is up 2-0 in the finals. I have the best food and the coolest clubs. I’m the center of the world. Fuck you
Started drunk smoking again and there are actually zero negative effects on my life because the alcohol forms a protective layer around your lungs a lot of people don’t know this
the funniest part of replacing receptionists with AI will be realizing nobody actually documented half the things jessica the front desk person just magically handled every day.
@hell_doe@bromethazine Despite not living there or visiting a single one, I’m delighted by all the little family restaurants and by the diversity of cuisines.
Took a complimentary barre class and the instructor said my form was good and asked if I had a background in dance. This is the wine mom equivalent of “the stripper likes me,” isn’t it?