💌 9.39PM
Hello Villains, This is Gun-il
I think this will probably be my last greeting to you as a member of Xdinary Heroes.
I really wanted to remain Xdinary Heroes until the very end, and I wanted to protect the six-member Xdinary Heroes. But as you all know, I had no choice but to accept the company’s decision
Even now, it still doesn’t feel real to me.
There are so many things I want to say to Villains. I still don’t know where or how to begin. But now that I am no longer a member of Xdinary Heroes, I don’t want to hide the truth or make excuses with lies just to protect myself. I believe there are things that I need to tell you myself, which is why I am writing this.
First of all, the person who wrote the post that started all of this was someone I met through an acquaintance and we dated for about two weeks.
At the time, I was mentally very exhausted because of the malicious comments and false rumors about me that had been going on for some time, as well as the various concerns I had about XDIZ’s music and performances. Rather than burdening the people close to me by opening up about how I was feeling, I was at a point where it felt easier to vent my frustrations to a stranger who didn’t really know me.
The person who made the inappropriate remarks about fans in the phone recording that was made public to Villains was indeed me. Regardless of the reason, the fact that I said those things does not change. I sincerely apologize to everyone who was disappointed and hurt by what I said.
However, I want to honestly explain what kind of situation and emotional state I was in at the time and who those words were directed toward.
Earlier this year, sasaeng fans broke into our dorm, and they even put a tracking device on my personal vehicle and followed me around. After experiencing things like that, I developed a lot of fear and resentment toward certain malicious fans, and I went through a very difficult time emotionally.
But because I was the leader and also the oldest hyung, I couldn’t easily talk about my fears or anxiety. I tried my best to control my emotions and carry on.
Then, in June of this year, I prepared for the Inspire Arena concert with the members, wanting to give Villains the absolute best performance we could. We prepared incredibly hard, and after finishing the first day’s performance, I checked social media with excitement and anticipation.
Of course, no performance can ever be perfect, and I believe we need to acknowledge our shortcomings and continue improving. However, that day, I saw a lot of malicious posts that went beyond criticism or opinions about the performance, things that were difficult for us to understand.
Because it was a performance I had prepared with all my heart, I think I broke down emotionally a lot when I saw the unexpected criticism and malicious comments.
That said, I didn’t want to cause worry to the company people or the members, so I couldn’t easily open up about my feelings. In the end, I poured out the emotions I had been holding back to someone I had only met not long ago, and in the process, I blurted out expressions that were too strong and wrong without hesitation.
I never thought that conversation would be recorded and made public. However, regardless of whether it was made public, I am fully aware that the very fact that I said such a thing was wrong.
There is only one thing I absolutely want to say.
At the time, the people I was speaking about emotionally were some malicious fans who, hiding behind anonymity, recklessly blamed us and violated our privacy. It was never what I said to all the villains who believed in and supported us.
I believe that because I have tried to show you the image of a diligent and reliable leader, the disappointment and sense of betrayal you may have felt through this matter must have been even greater. I sincerely feel very sorry about that.