Mike Pinocchio

Don't get me started.

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow @haplessalpha @castieldarrow That's it. Want a divorce.

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow @haplessalpha @castieldarrow you're a TERRIBLE father

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow @haplessalpha @castieldarrow ...it's twelve fucking thirty am

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow @haplessalpha @castieldarrow if you want to get some exercise you can bring me the cookies

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@castieldarrow I get the sense you're not supposed to ask those questions

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow @haplessalpha @castieldarrow walking is hard

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@vampireindarrow Which one?

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow God, you are so boring

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow You should also see what one of these birds does, it's probably the filthiest thing I've ever seen

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow you married me, so yeah

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow I was thinking more about trying to explain literally anything about cats

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow First come in here and look at this

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

Also look what's going on in my life on a Friday night. I am so goddamn ashamed of myself

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

Thank Christ the kids are in their room, I don't want to have to explain any of this.

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

The cats are both watching a documentary about the mating habits of birds. Really closely. Sort of weirded out.

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

I'm serious, I'm going to find a way to make this multiverse thing work so I can go back in time and track that motherfucker down

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

What asshole invented sugar and why am I stupid enough to ever let my kids have it?

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

@mccormickdarrow I'm just saying we're averaging something like once a year now

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

And it's really really sad just how much I'm not kidding

[Mike Pinocchio @forthedogdarrow]

Made appointment with tattoo artist. Time to actually get this thing done while I'm still alive to do it