Startup Socialite

Raising a Series B means that I get a Birkin

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Founders shouldn't stay single until Series B.

That's when everyone suddenly becomes interested in your "vision."

I preferred him back when he only had one Patagonia vest and unlimited upside.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

My husband raised $8 million.

The first thing he bought? Another engineer.

Can't AI do that all at this point?

I am literally having to fight for more throw pillows on our bed.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

@HardPassVenture My husband following up for next round.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Every founder says,

"She loved me before the money."

Which is true.

But I also appreciate personal growth.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Every founder thinks they're protecting their spouse from stress.

Meanwhile she's already figured out:

the churn,
the runway,
the hiring freeze,
the bridge round,
and why you're suddenly being nice to that investor again.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

The founder never remembers who needs follow-up.

But I remember:

who likes golf
whose daughter just graduated
which partner hates cold emails
who said "circle back in Q3"

Don't need to know that much about startups after all.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

There's a point in every relationship where you realize you've become unpaid investor relations.

"No, his calendar is just crazy."

"No, he really did love meeting you."

"No, that's actually a good sign."

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Founders don't marry for operational leverage.

It just ends up that way.

One person builds the company.

The other quietly keeps the founder employable.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Every startup has an unofficial executive team:

CEO

CTO

Founder's Wife

The CEO makes decisions.

The CTO builds the product.

The founder's wife says,

"Have you considered just calling the customer?"

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

People think founders compartmentalize work.

They don't.

Every dinner becomes:

"Quick question..."

Forty-five minutes later you've accidentally redesigned pricing.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Founders think they have one board.

They actually have two.

One meets quarterly.

The other meets every night around 10:30 PM and has significantly more influence over strategic decisions.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Growth is that I bought the @PalantirTech Tennis Set over the Dolce and Gabbana outfit

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Every founder says,

"She doesn't care about the money."

Of course not.

She just happens to know:

when the wire hit
when the option pool expanded
which VC passed
which VC ghosted
and exactly how much runway another house would cost.

Pure coincidence.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

I don't understand why my husband keeps saying we're broke.

I literally watched someone wire him $4.2 million.

Sounds like a mindset issue.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

@HardPassVenture Appalling

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

My husband just closed a $15M Series A.

Everyone keeps congratulating him.

But no one talks about the sacrifices I made.

I found out we weren't even cash rich. Who knew billionaire's don't carry that cash on them.

I had to keep the shopping cart open for 14 months waiting for the wire to clear.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

Every founder has an executive assistant.

It's just usually their girlfriend.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

rip to any quality time spent with my significant other

[Mark Zuckerberg @finkd]

(1) Today we're releasing Muse Spark 1.1 -- a strong agentic and coding model at a very low price. It's available through our new Meta Model API and in Meta AI.

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

@allie__voss And he’s up til 4 am. If that’s gonna be it then make the upside 4 billion

[Startup Socialite @founderwags]

My husband says I'm not involved in the business.

Interesting.

Because yesterday I:

> rejected a logo,
> approved an engineer,
> talked him out of firing someone,
> convinced him not to pivot,
> proofread an investor update,
> picked the restaurant for customer dinner,

and reminded him his board meeting was today.

...definitely not involved.