Andrew Fowler

silly billy

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door and I just kept playing

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@PleaseBeGneiss Clearly you put the fake news into one of those hilarious novelty dribble cups

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@100YearsAgoNews Wow I never realized how much Coolidge looked like George W Bush

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@desusnice I was shocked to learn recently that somebody reverse engineered the code of Mario 3 and (this is real) the third row in this game is pure chance, no skill can help you.

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

[Me as a cop]

Partner: Dude you gotta work on your catchphrase

Me: *slamming criminal's head on car hood* UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS

[carmeb @therealcbrad]

I hope this email kills us both

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@kibblesmith You wouldn't like me when I'm mad mad mad mad

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@alexlumaga The Curtain With, delegates go absolutely apeshit

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@F41rygirl https://t.co/gdSDimPja3

[Matt. @MattTheBrand]

[every bone in my body cracks as i rise from my chair] yes i would like to party

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@kibblesmith I did a short thread on this once
https://t.co/5fDTyZt9jD

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

My favorite year is 1988 because for eight months Lizzo and Salvador Dali were alive at the same time

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@Bob_Janke Haha I barely believed it myself

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@PleaseBeGneiss Actually, the more I think about it -- trolling us all by shifting his voice from "overconfident insane unhinged crackpot" to "hack trying unsuccessfully to capture the voice of dril" would be a brilliant long con worthy of dril

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@PleaseBeGneiss Maybe it's a Dread Pirate Roberts kind of deal

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

Okay so in this joke it's an episode of Antiques Roadshow but it's the 18th century and the guy is like "you just bought this"

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@TweetPotato314 A man in the Kentucky wilderness is always in the last place you look

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

A 31 year old Joe Biden just woke up from a long nap on the Amtrak. All he remembers from the dream is a white rectangle that could hold a thousand songs

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@PhilJamesson This is like Homer blowing his nose with Flanders's NF monogrammed handkerchief

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

@anerdguynow Intermittent remote desktop connection.

[Andrew Fowler @fowlerism]

Hey girl, are you a bicycle? Cause I've been diagnosed with visual agnosia