Fredel Coetzee

Techie from Joburg

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

This morning we had a townhall where the company just announced "wellness initiatives" including standing desks for anyone who wants one.

I immediately submitted a request for three standing desks.

One for my office. One for my home office. One for the "backup workspace we're establishing for business continuity."

There is no backup workspace.

The third desk is going to my brother-in-law's house. He's been wanting a standing desk but they're like $800.

My request got approved in 45 minutes. Because it's framed as "wellness" and "business continuity," not "I want free stuff."

The desks arrive next week.

My brother-in-law thinks I'm being generous. Really, I'm just exploiting the corporate wellness budget while building family goodwill I can cash in later.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

People keep asking me how I got into IT.

I got into IT because I was too socially awkward for sales and too impatient for engineering.

In 2009, I was the only IT person at a 40-person startup.

Everything was my fault. Server down? My fault. Email slow? My fault. Someone's laptop got a virus because they opened an email from their own mother? Also my fault, apparently.

One day the CEO asked me why our internet was "acting slow." I told him it was probably DNS. I had no idea what DNS was. I just knew it was the answer to everything.

He asked me to fix it. I told him I needed $8K in equipment and three weeks.

I spent two weeks watching YouTube videos about DNS, bought $200 in equipment, and told him it was fixed.

It wasn't. The internet was still slow. But nobody asked about it again because a month later the company ran out of money and shut down.

I got hired at the next place and immediately told them our DNS was probably the problem. They believed me. That was 15 years ago.

I'm now an IT Director at a Fortune 500 company. My entire career is built on the fact that I got lucky once and nobody's fact-checked me since.

Last month someone asked me a technical question during a meeting and I just said "DNS" and everyone nodded and moved on.

I'm convinced my entire C-suite reputation is based on a YouTube video from 2009 I watched while pretending to work.

[Sean Murray @NoMansSky]

omg you guys! 🥰🥰🥰

https://t.co/m3sa3VKZjb

[Fredel Coetzee @Fr3d3l]

@TheCinesthetic Danny Elfman

[Fredel Coetzee @Fr3d3l]

"It's never the right time, but right now is usually the best time."

-@JamesClear

[Sean Murray @NoMansSky]

🏗Foundation
🚧Pathfinder
💎AtlasRises
🚀Next
🤿Abyss
🧞Visions
🥽Beyond
📜Synthesis
🥚LivingShip
🤖ExoMech
💀Desolation
🍊Origins
🔮NextGen
🧶Companion
��Expeditions
🌈Prisms
👀Frontiers
🔫Sentinel
🏴‍☠️Outlaws
💪Endurance
🔭Waypoint
❄️Fractal
😈 Interceptor
🧠Singularity
🔊Echoes
Ω Omega
.
.
.
💫

[Fredel Coetzee @Fr3d3l]

@TheCinesthetic James Cameron

[Sean Murray @NoMansSky]

holy shit you guys - no way - THANK YOU 🙏

[Sean Murray @NoMansSky]

Youtube Trailer for Echoes 😍

https://t.co/WN7tWtGf6F

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

During the 1800's, a double leg amputee signalman James Wide, purchased a baboon called Jack.

The baboon at first helped him by pushing his wheelchair around but also displayed an astonishing aptitude for gardening, tending to the station's greenery with remarkable dedication.

the pinnacle of Jack's skills was his mastery of the railway signals.

Learning by observing James wide , the baboon honed his ability to manipulate the signal levers, coordinating the safe passage of approaching trains. The astonishing part was not just his proficiency, but his uncanny knack for intuitively knowing which lever to pull, rarely making errors and never requiring the same instruction twice.

The baboon began to operate the railway, and was eventually given a job and salary.

After initial skepticism, the railway decided to officially employ Jack once his job competency was verified. He was paid twenty cents a day, and half a bottle of beer each week. It is widely reported that in his nine years of employment with the railway company, Jack never made a single mistake.

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

More reading https://t.co/9eA8g3scp0

[David das Neves @david_das_neves]

This great article explains why you should enable password expiration.
[Article] Enable Password Expiration for Synced Users with Password Hash
https://t.co/ILKKff8to4

Credit: Moe Kinani

#CloudComputing #CyberSecurity #MicrosoftAzure

[Rdl Sakkie du Plooy 🇿🇦 @SakkieDuPlooy]

KYK: Kerkplein - ons gesels vandag oor die geskiedenis van die pragtige Paul Kruger-standbeeld reg in die middel van Kerkplein. Hierdie standbeeld is een van menige wat destyds in die Zuid-Afrikaansche Republiek opgerig is. @CityTshwane @tshwane_mayor @Tourism_gov_za @VFPlus

[Abhishek @HeyAbhishek]

You can use ChatGPT to create an entire ebook.

But most people don't know how to unlock its full potential.

10 ChatGPT prompts to write ENTIRE ebook in seconds and make money:

[SentiMETAL by Cars.co.za @SentiMETAL_ZA]

OK folks, things are about to get serious...
----------------------------------------
FOR SALE: 1961 Mercedes-Benz 190SL
> Fully restored
> Desirable cream/red leather combo
> Immaculate
PRICE: R2 750 000
==============================
ENQUIRE AT LINK IN FIRST COMMENT BELOW! 👇

[Jeffrey Snover @jsnover]

So sad.
RIP Kevin https://t.co/YNxK0mMv5f

[Wimbledon @Wimbledon]

The first man not named Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic or Andy Murray to win the #Wimbledon Gentlemen's Singles since 2002.

@CarlosAlcaraz 🆕

[Rdl Sakkie du Plooy 🇿🇦 @SakkieDuPlooy]

Ons bly in die mooiste stad en daar is soveel redes waarom ek opgewonde is oor die toekoms van @CityTshwane! Ek sien ekonomiese ontwikkeling en geleenthede vir besigheid. Ons bou saam aan 'n stad vol potensiaal! #Tshwane #Toekoms #Vooruitgang @VFplusGP @tshwane_mayor #kerkplein

[Grandi Theunissen @grandi_theun]

NUUSFLITS: Jongste opdatering oor die kragonderbreking by die Nyala-stasie wat groot dele van die stad affekteer. Daar word ononderbroke gewerk om die krisis so gou as moontlik op te los. @CityTshwane @RekordNewspaper @pretorianews @VFplusGP @Netwerk24 #Nyala #krag

[Rdl Sakkie du Plooy 🇿🇦 @SakkieDuPlooy]

Ons bly in 'n pragtige stad! Welkom op #kerkplein, kom stap saam met my en beleef die mooi ou geboue. Kom ons werk saam om ons stad weer skoon te kry en op te bou. @CityTshwane @VFPlus @VFplusGP @maroelamedia @pretoriacoza @UPTuks #Pretoria #Tshwane @tshwane_mayor @pretorianews