Eddie Urbanski

Devoted husband © Phil Woollen. All views, opinions and pictures are probably someone else's ©. (Stop flicking at my fly, please).

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@Baractus @earlswoodbirds Hah! Where is your Earlswood then please?

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@kevwardlaw Y Foryd.

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@_TCartz Brilliant Toby!

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@_TCartz Go get 'em Toby...

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Vegans: "Drinking cow's milk is unnatural!"

Great point.

So instead of pulling on some teats for thirty seconds, we've developed a twelve-step industrial alternative.

Step one: grow almonds in California, a drought-afflicted state currently depleting an aquifer that took twenty thousand years to fill.

Step two: ship them to a processing facility.

Step three: soak them in water. California water, specifically, because almonds need 15 gallons per ounce and California is already rationing.

Step four: pulverise them into a slurry.

Step five: filter the slurry through fine mesh, discarding most of the actual almond in the process. That was the bit with the nutrition in it. Gone now.

Step six: add more water, because the resulting liquid isn't watery enough.

Step seven: add sweeteners, because it tastes of nothing.

Step eight: add emulsifiers, because it separates in six minutes otherwise.

Step nine: add synthetic vitamins, because all the natural ones left in step five.

Step ten: add seed oils, because we apparently learned nothing.

Step eleven: homogenise, degas, pasteurise, and sterilise the mixture until it resembles no food that has ever existed in nature.

Step twelve: put it in a carton with a picture of a field on it.

The cow: stands in a field. Makes milk. Has done this for ten thousand years. No factory. No steps. No aquifer.

Unnatural, though. Very unnatural.

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@lesserspotnet @kenandlindasmi2 @MallalieuMark I remember them visiting feeders. Put them up high and use peanuts!

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@NicolaJSwinney No I don't, I shout Hall!

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@chris65bill ✔️

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@jdhbull @Sandwichbirdobs Well done JB. A great image.

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@RegiBirder How are you, young Sir?

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@keelebirder He was my favourite actor! Especially in Doctor Strangelove...

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@kevwardlaw Looks like a Water Shrew!

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@birdsandbike Love the location info...

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@denmor77 @BirdGuides Mr Pointon? When I knew him he was "the boy Pointon".

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@_TCartz What a fabulous photo!!!!

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@AllanConlin But you don't mind at all, do you?

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@chris65bill Well done Chris. Still looking for one here on the Llŷn this year.

[Eddie Urbanski @freedie]

@BerzinsBob @WildJustice_org @MarkAvery @ChrisGPackham @RaptorPersUK Well done that man!