friendlyasshole

it's about to get real, brace yourself

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

Accept my invite & Get 3 freebies!
https://t.co/IvjIkznrkO

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

Carl Cox at The Concourse Project: Register for Presale Access & Win Free Tickets or Elevated Experience: https://t.co/mmJzpG8gYD

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@AmericanAir you changed your avatar, but I'm not sure why. There's no reason you should have pride in what you do based on my experience.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

And 24 hour service? @AmericanAir, what the fuck does that mean? Your phone/hold service you paid for is active? Fuck you.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

I mean, @AmericanAir , what's the point of a reservation? Pretty sure Seinfeld has a whole bit about it.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

Hey @AmericanAir are you usually garbage or just now? I just found out a flight I booked in Feb got changed without my knowledge. Also been on hold for 2+ hours. Fuck you.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@kylemooney Ayy dude. This may seem crazy, but I very much appreciate your thoughts and experiences you shared through the universe. I saw you today and it was all I needed. You’re my guy.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

My favorite part of sex is when I get consent to do what my filthy mind wants

https://t.co/LfaJjiVOeS

[A Very Simple Secret @ATMSAVSS]

Wondering what you or your partner's limits may be? Here's a great tool to have that conversation.

https://t.co/cjaag8bVmd

[A Very Simple Secret @ATMSAVSS]

Episode 002: Dr. Jess and Brandon is live on Apple Podcasts! https://t.co/0q3OdhBGbm @SexWithDrJess https://t.co/ezbidf7I8I https://t.co/itd7CIiRi8
More formats available on https://t.co/R8vBKy2Ohu

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@thatchaddaniels was awesome last night. He was a dick, the Austin room was dickier. Likely no road beave.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@AllTheUglyTruth you’re still sexy as fuck. Keep it up.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@ATT @ATTCares Really? 10 years as a customer and fees can't be waived? Thanks. Guess I'm the only Friendly Asshole around here.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@ATTCares @ATT I'm pretty unhappy about your chat support. As a long time customer, I'm not asking for much and I'm now on agent #3. WTF?

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@UPSHelp hey, can you help me locate a package? I got notified it was delivered and I have no way of getting it from a locker.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

@UPS you’re garbage. You don’t driver to my parcel locker, make me sign a slip, deliver to the locker and then don’t give me info about it.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

I didn’t, but I also don’t know Greek or French

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

I learned Spanish for this?

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

.@attcares @att @directtv are shit. Help @sleepingphoenix. You’re all human toilets.

[friendlyasshole @friendlyasshole]

.@metlife, you're fucking horrible. A friend of mine told me to say so. Eat a dick.