Healing from Trauma

Trying to make sense of my #trauma and share personal experiences of my healing and recovery. #csasurvivor

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

Had physio appointment on the phone & even something as seemingly harmless as that was hugely triggering for me as a #CSA survivor. I feel drained & triggered now after so many intrusive questions, which were necessary but upsetting. This is why trauma informed care is so vital.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

Is it normal to feel a weird mix of happiness & devastation as you start to come to terms with your story of #CSA? After so long in & out of denial, things are feeling very real today. It feels good to be able to own my story a bit more, but utterly terrifying & despairing too.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@Howtobeboth22 Couldn’t agree more. It hurts to hear our experiences being minimised and dismissed. For some parts of us there is a total loss of safety & an ever present feeling of terror from the acts of abuse themselves. After care might have helped, but wouldn’t have taken that away.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@PatriciaDebney Thank you. I can feel it is within reach, to hopefully get to that peace, but I also worry there is a storm to get through first.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

Finding it hard not to be able to speak out openly about the #CSA because it happened so young, I don’t have clear memories, I still have to protect other family. It’s complicated, as it is for many survivors. Still only just coming to terms with the fact it really happened 1/2

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@PatriciaDebney People tell me I was groomed by a much older man when I was 18. He was known to the family for years beforehand, he was almost part of the family. I still struggle to see that I was groomed. I still blame myself because I was technically an adult.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

Yet there is still this inexplicable urge to talk about it & It feels all consuming at times. I suppose it comes down to having been silenced about it when young. One day I hope I can be free to say what I need to say & let the denial go once & for all. 2/2 #CSA

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

Anyone in England know of any advocacy services who could support us at meetings with our autistic child’s secondary school over SEND issues? We have been in touch with NAS Education Rights helpline but they offer support with letters rather than in person. #AutismAcceptanceWeek

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@CaraLisette To know what safety feels like. To know that my needs matter. Learning how to look after the wounded parts of myself. How to regulate my emotions. That I am not inherently wrong as a person. Much more that I can’t fully explain in a tweet. And love. 💜

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

Sometimes we don’t have a good enough parent & we have to be our own parent. I couldn’t have known how, without it being modelled by a safe therapist who I will always view as my chosen mum. Feeling both sadness & gratitude. It is not the same as what I missed, but it is enough.

[Martin Lewis @MartinSLewis]

Urgent. Less than six weeks for millions to boost state pension by £10,000s (some can do it free)

Courtesy @itvMLshow

Feel free to spread the word.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@ejthementor Or can have the exact opposite effect in some cases

[Zarah Sultana MP @zarahsultana]

MPs just voted on a motion to remove private schools' £1,700,000,000 tax break.

That could pay for free school meals for *all* primary school pupils almost twice over.

But Tory MPs voted it down, choosing to protect elite private schools, not improve opportunities for all kids.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

I can feel the anger building up inside of me. I’ve never been able to recognise this before. I’ve always been dissociated from it. Now I can feel the beginnings of rage about what my abusers did to me. It wants to burst out of me & I think it is slowly starting to happen. #CSA

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@wendyevaK I’ve not got my tree up yet & definitely struggling with motivation around it this year. Kids aren’t really interested now they are teenagers. We will have a tree but am finding it particularly hard to be bothered this year. So much to grieve. I love the lights on your tree tho.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@wendyevaK It’s good you can see you needed a break. I wonder if I should have taken one sometimes. It’s so important to find that right connection. I just ‘knew’ it was right when I met my now therapist. It’s good you are open to trying again. Maybe he reached his own limits of competence?

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@wendyevaK I’m so sorry. This is heartbreaking. How long had you worked together? Would you ever consider trying again with someone new, maybe further down the line? It’s a fine line between therapy becoming harmful & not giving up on a person I think.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@wendyevaK They gave me a kind of ultimatum. It felt brutal but it shocked me out of it. They later said it was a last resort because nothing was seeming to break the cycle. We are still working together but I think only because we had a long history together before this.

[Healing from Trauma @from_trauma]

@nate_postlethwt It is torturous to accept love now, particularly maternal type love. I crave it & I really need it, but the pain from accepting it is excruciating. I’m still persevering with it though. Some parts of me have found great healing from love, others less so.