el 🦝

[el 🦝 @fukinhellel]

Dick pics are outdated and boring, sell ur soul to the devil if u really wanna get lucky with me xoxo

[roman † @CUT2FLESH]

tomorrow marks one year since the louvre heist and i still think we moved on far too quickly from someone stealing actual crown jewels in the age of ai and computers. imagine pulling off an old-fashioned jewellery heist in the year of our lord 2025.

[. @Omgemeraldddd]

“Disney+ will now have ads on every plan.”

You know what? Where the hell is my DVD player? I’m ready to go back to buying movies, owning them forever, and watching them in peace.

[Sam White @SamWhiteTky]

Why would I pay the BBC to use private services that are not related to the BBC?

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

jen is going to hell unfortunately

[⋆ @lowkeyalbert]

are love letters still a thing? i want one

[jay ✰ @jayythewave]

long distance couples be like “i can’t wait” and then wait

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Three person group chats go hard as fuck

[Just Me…Dee🐟 #FBPE #FBPR #GobshiteClub @deelomas]

3yr old: Where does poo come from?
Me(making it simple):You just had lunch
Her: Yes
Me:The food goes into your mouth & into your tummy.Our body takes all the good stuff and the rest goes to our bottom & when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo
Stunned silence
Her:& Tigger?

[꧁𝓐꧂ @scarletxharlot]

Bereal is not for the people who like to rot in their bed

[O.O. Sangoyomi @OOSangoyomi]

if twitter really is dying, my confession is that i never noticed the comma in that one pride and prejudice quote, so up until recently i always read it as "you have bewitched me body and me soul" in a leprachaun voice and i never understood how people found that romantic

[𝙋𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮 ✨️ @_Pammy_DS_]

Dating someone who gives you great sex, good laughs, best friend vibes, epic conversations and unquestionable loyalty >>>

[Gerry McBride @GerryMcBride]

After the early bricks but before smartphones, there was a stretch where phone design went absolutely catshit bananas (1/?)

[twilight renaissance | fanpage @twilightreborn]

me watching breaking dawn part 2

[IG: closedapp @ih8rts]

i be like “long story short” then tell it with behind the scenes bonus features

[Mazza @YaaMazz]

THIS is the sort of creativity we need at met galas and runways. I'm obsessed