matty 🧜‍♂️

he/him || a collection of neuroses and undefined issues in a shape roughly approximating that of a man. || watch ravenous (1999) || currently ntbts posting

[keeks (kenzie/dean) | kermit the frog | @tfws_therapist]

you’re fucking SICK for what you did at the red wedding

[verynormalman @verynormalman]

Having 1-2 wines at work lunch sometimes makes you experience the rest of the day like you’re in mullholand drive

[Danza @diaknight]

I actually AM clicking the tiny x to close the phone game ad correctly each and every time. The ad companies just got so mad that I'm perfect at tapping the tiny xs that they programmed the ad to ignore attempts to close them and just open the link to the app store anyway.

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

They just added 500 new rules and I'm apparently in violation of all of them

[Vitinho ☭🇨🇳🇰🇵🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @vitin_ovietcong]

"Se você tem um problema com Elon Musk ser um trilionário, é porque você é um comunista."

[NEET @neetrockstar]

Purple eyebags and slouched gamer neck posture and having heart palpitations daily are positive health indicators

[rhaenyra targaryen's lawyer @Targ_Nation]

NEVER LET THEM TAKE YOUR HOPE AWAY

[✨🐸 Roxy Woods 🔜 AC 🐸✨ @swimobe]

I’m starting a collection

[maddy catgirlprostate @catgirlprostate]

Matt Lucas looks like the fucked up edit of Northernlion but real

[Jules 🪐 @schumisnoopy]

thank you mr. data

[tonsured pussy @sweetseaslug]

living with your parents in your 20s

[fareed 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @it_is_fareed]

English Lars Von Trier movies:

The Gaff That Jack Built
The Plonkers
Slag

[★ @corpseinorbit]

I got to see Neil Hamburger before people were in on the bit, and he opened with "HEY GANG, how is Harriet Tubman ... like the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Well you see, Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves ... and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to heroin"

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

(A week into Salò trying to lighten the mood) Come on guys, it's probably gonna be like 8 days of Sodom, 9 max

[Moni @YaoiOpioid]

The dirties is like inland empire for people who listened to car seat headrest in middle school

[amz ∞ @thed1rties]

jay giving this to matt lol

[gen z ann lee @elainesmays]

Watches Trainspotting for the first time and couldn’t stop thinking about this tweet

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

[on my death bed]
"Why didn't I just buy a normal bed?"

[sweetheart 💉🩹 @headlessgimp]

Nine Inch Nails “Fist Fuck” Shirt

[jacksfilms @jacksfilms]

@nothinbutlag I told you I just wanted a quiet night out, but you made it weird when you yelled "HIT THE POSE WHITE MAN" and frankly ruined my fajitas