Andrew Ferrara

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

#Parenting #Poll - do kids pee pee out their wee wee or do they wee wee out their pee pee ? #lifesbigquestions #questions

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

@ImpossibleFoods - ain’t chicken nuggets already #impossible ? How you gonna go do the impossible with the impossible? Y’all wild. #chickienuggies #chickennuggets

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

We used to tease by calling eachother butt face - now all we want is a butt on our face. Oh how the tables have turned.

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

Alcoholic comes from the root word alcohol because it is the root of all problems.

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

Sundried? Bitch, thems Tomato Raisins. #smh #foodie #tbh

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

@JeffProbst what the hell is going on with casting? Two quits? In 4 episodes? As a forever fan and a 5 time applicant- I’ve never been so mad

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

Woke up very tense and still with “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under” Stuck in My Head. When I turned to my phone- there was the video pulled up on @YouTube. I think @ShaniaTwain may be my #SleepParalysisDemon

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

The only guys that message me on @Grindr are 19/20/21 clearly looking for a #SugarDaddy. Little do they know I’m just a @Splenda Uncle

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

#Meteorologists need to stop saying “it’s 96 degrees but feels like 110”. Boy we all know it’s 110 for real- just say so- we won’t get mad. Not at you anyways.

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

Yo, why the stork so #homophobic? WHERE’S MY #BABY, #BIRD?!?

The #revolution starts today on #XTwitter - @elonmusk , I urge you to #takeastance, #CallOut #TheStork and end this hate. #PorkTheStork

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

So this ain’t Twitter anymore #elon? #X ? Do we still tweet? Or do we #Xpress ourselves? #Xchange instead of reply? #Xplode instead of Retweet? I need answers @elonmusk

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

Twitter me Timbers. #whatsatweetagain #hashtag

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

The only similarity between #Jesus and @realDonaldTrump is that someone else wrote their #bestseller

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

For those who I have never met - just so ya know - I look like if @bigbangtheory fucked a #Belushi #iftheymated

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

I #SwearToGod I just overheard the guy at @TiresPlus tell someone “Ya see the Turkey Burger is what’s givin ya trouble with yer transmission.” #Damn #TurkeyBurger

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

Come #laugh at one of my #Upcoming #Comedy #Shows ! I’ll be popping around #Pensacola as usual plus I get to #return to both #NewOrleans and #Orlando !
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#Comedian #ComingSoon #Schedule #StandUpComedy… https://t.co/h3ZvVRrAWD

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

#candid shot of me taking a #bath while #singing in perfect #harmony to @panicatthedisco . #daydreaming of @brendonurie

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

The Bigger the #BumperSticker the more important the message... I think... “Make #Mexico Great Again- Eat More Tacos” ... yes, that woman is holding a #taco where her #hooha is supposed to be. No, I do not know how this helps Mexico

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

“Why are there alligators? This is supposed to be #SHARKnado!” - #Mom

[Andrew Ferrara @funnyAFcomedy]

Ever wanted to see a dozen nine year olds flicking off a full grown man known as #TheOutlaw ? Then #indie #wrestling is right up your alley.