Mallam Issa

#OneArseneWenger

[Mallam Issa @funshora]

#EidMubarak

[Mob President Christian @Chrisblin]

When you arrest criminals, insist you want to charge them to court, once you do it’s now the state vs the offender

You can now file charges against them to pay for the damages incurred, stop leaving yourselves at the mercy of the police, they’re very lawless.

[Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo]

Nigerians have a culture of deceit and cutting corners.
Those selling grains will deliberately add stones to the grains when they want to supply
Those selling fruits will add colourings to them
Those selling dried fish will use polish to make it shine
Those selling fuel will use fake meters and gauges
Mechanics will reuse your faulty part and claim they bought new ones
You give someone your clothes to sew, and suddenly your material will not be enough
You employ a housemaid, and she will be stealing foodstuff and your children's clothing
A pastor is telling all sorts of lies and collecting his share of the money you have stolen
Fake drinks are being manufactured all over
Fake drugs are being manufactured all over
Tap water is being packaged as bottled water and being distributed
Fake professors are on TV giving expert opinion
Fake police officers are arresting real police officers
We have fake soldiers too, terrorising the people
It is not POVERTY that made us this way
So many nations poorer than us do not have these tendencies
Nigerians need a change of orientation, a brand new mindset

[Olga Bazova @OlgaBazova]

This you?

[Fu Cookies20 @FCookies20]

Then the City of Toronto sued him and stole his IP

[Grace Auta @graceauta101_]

Omg you guys, it's true. Ilhan Omar came here on a student visa, then quit school and just started working. Total immigration fraud, blatant.
Oh wait, that wasn't Ilhan, that was Elon.

[Parasizceo @parasizceo]

🔴 ABD'li emekli Albay Douglas Macgregor:

▪️Türklere İsrail ile savaşa girmemeleri için F-35 rüşveti veriyoruz.

▪️Onların kenarda oturmasını istiyoruz. Onları kavgaya dahil etmek istemiyoruz.

▪️Erdoğan, "Bana F-35'leri verin barış olsun" diyor. Sorunumuz şu ki, dostumuz Erdoğan, Donald Trump'tan çok daha zeki.

▪️Çünkü Erdoğan sadece 'Tamam kenarda duruyoruz, karışmayacağız' demekle yetinmez. Bu geçici bir süre için böyle... Bunu İsrailliler de çok iyi biliyor.

▪️Yıllar önce İsrail'de yaptığım bir askerî sunumda şunu söylemiştim: Bölgede İsrail için tek gerçek varoluşsal tehdit Türk Devleti'dir.

▪️Herkes bana deliymişim gibi bakmıştı. Sonra şöyle demiştim: Şimdi siz İran ile birbirinize füze ve bomba atabilirsiniz. Ancak İranlılar İsrail'i işgal edemez. İsrail'i Türkler işgal edebilir. Sizler Osmanlıların yüzlerce yıl boyunca yönettiği topraklarda yaşıyorsunuz.

▪️Trump savaşı önlemeye çalışıyor ama bunun işe yarayacağını sanmıyorum. Çünkü bence İslâm bir bütün olarak birleşiyor.

▪️Arap Yarımadası'ndaki zengin, varlıklı elitleri unutun. Asıl Müslümanlardan bahsediyorum. 'İslâm evi'nin içinde yüzlerce yıldır görmediğimiz ölçekte büyük bir ittifak ortamı var.

Yer işaretlerine ekleyelim mümkünse

[Chimaforkeeps🧘🏾☮️ @Chimaforkeeps]

Lmao just remembered when I was 20 and I dated a 28 years old lady 😂

When I moved at her she said “I’m your aunty o” and silly me said “if I slide in you and it screams I’m your aunty i will pull out”

I don’t know where that audacity came from but I said that shi that’s how we started rolling, went on couple dates and she took care of the bills, in her words she said:

“I can’t imagine letting our last born at home spend his money when he has a big aunty like me”

One day she brought up sexual conversation and I wanted to shy away from it cause I was a keyboard warrior then but we had this one in person, she asked “can you even handle me” I was so shy to speak at that point but I can’t let my guard down

Told her: “I’d let you speak on that after the match”
She screamed cause the audacity was really crazy 😂😂

Well this gif was my reaction after the match

[PortHarcourt Sailor @PHSailor1]

This is the struggle you face working offshore.

You still wanna come to sea? People are looking for way out.

[Nwamaka @ama_kaaa]

💔💔💔Just look at what these guys are doing. Using black shoe polish to polish the dry fish so that they can shine. Pls be careful where you eat,people are too wicked and they would do anything for money.

[Kateri Seraphina @KateriSeraphina]

Le summum de la « débauche » politique en Norvège !
Préparez-vous au choc… La présidente du Parlement norvégien, Eva Kristin Hansen, a démissionné et présenté ses excuses au peuple, à cause d’un « crime » impardonnable !
Imaginez un peu… Madame a utilisé un appartement de 50 m² (oui, un simple salon et une chambre !) appartenant à l’État.
La loi chez eux autorise l’occupation de ce logement uniquement si votre domicile se situe à plus de 40 kilomètres du Parlement… mais le « scandale » retentissant, c’est que sa maison se trouvait à seulement 29 kilomètres !
Autrement dit, elle aurait fait perdre à l’État « environ 11 kilomètres » de dignité politique !
Le plus drôle et triste à la fois :
• Non seulement elle a démissionné, mais elle a aussi annoncé qu’elle rembourserait de sa propre poche la « perte » causée à l’État.
• À titre d’information : la Norvège possède un excédent financier dépassant 1 300 milliards de dollars… et malgré cela, ils lui ont demandé des comptes pour un appartement de 50 m² et 11 kilomètres de différence !
Chez nous, si le domicile d’un responsable se trouvait à 29 mètres de son bureau, il demanderait peut-être un hélicoptère pour éviter les embouteillages du trottoir, et on le considérerait quand même comme un « grand homme d’État dévoué »

[Opeyemi @OpeyemiDrift]

Maybe I should tell you guys the story of how I was poached by this AI company to be their Head of Marketing.

Offer… 3M p/m.

What would I be marketing?

An AI data center and and the first fully AI radio station in the world.

Oya, where the data center? “The equipment is on its way.”

How far the radio station?

“The transmitter and license one thing one thing. Don’t worry, keep doing the background work so that when we’re ready to go live…”

Oya now.

Month 1, I no see budget. Dem no on radio. Data center still dey empty but dem buy bicycles for the company. Dem say funding Dey come from the US “anytime from now.”

Okay na.

Salary day reach. Nothing about salary. They said they were working on opening the company account.

I was so confused.

A month and a half don pass. I don drive go island 3 times a week. Na so I stop to Dey go.

All of a sudden, founder calls a meeting and goes on about how we’re not showing the right attitude to work.

I confuse again.

I had to go read my employment letter again, make e no be say I sign to work for free 😂

Dem say salary go drop the next day but make I please accept a renegotiation. Dem reduce 3M to 1M. 😂

I like the project. Oya, bring!

I come give them conditions.
Employ CTO, employ CD. I don do strategy, GTM… everything. Give me sth to market ffs.

Dem say make I recommend. I brought my guy on board as CD. He then employed his own creative team.

One random day, I got to the office and saw like 25 new faces and cubicles.

Ahn ahn, wetin Dey sup? Dem say dem don employ “AI Agents”.

I confuse again.

One week later, these guys haven’t done jack. I asked what was going on and they said they were waiting for ME TO ACTIVATE THEM.

I first burst laugh. Activate you on what? With what? To do exactly what?

Next thing, CEO say dem Dey send me, business lead and our robotics guy (that hadn’t done a single thing for 4 months) go Morocco for GITEX.)

I didn’t even know we had a robotics team. Wetin dem Dey do? 🤣🤣🤣

Anyway, free trip? Bring!

We reach Morocco, dem no send money for hotel or food. I say I don die 🤣🤣🤣

Hotel hold our passport for 4 days 🤣

Saxophone never even loud at this point😭

I Dey come. Make I chop first.

[(fan) Trey @UTDTrey]

Bro since 2024, Dembele has started just 34 GAMES in Ligue 1

Haaland started the same amount of games in the Premier League just last season😭

[Sir J (J9) @SirJarus]

So every US state has a billionaire resident except three (Alaska, Delaware & West Virginia).

I think all the four Forbes dollar billionaires in Nigeria live in one state - Lagos.

The remaining 35 states + FCT do not have a dollar billionaire.

[Olufunke Cherish O. @Ola___ife]

No wonder the boil on our armpit after use dey hard like stone .
Fake roll on’s

[Av @aviv_lavi]

This mentality is why we won the league.

[. @alphacruiz]

How much are they even paying you in that Nepa office that you're waking up by 2:25am to off light? 🤔

[𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐀𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥 @SankaraDispatch]

White people killed over 56 million Native Americans during colonisation.

King Leopold killed 15 million Congolese people.

The British killed over 100 million Indians. They also killed over 10 million Africans.

France committed some of the worst massacres in history in Algeria and across West Africa.

The US has murdered countless people, mostly women and children, through its invasions.

But sure, let's talk about communists and Muslims.

Because the West is a den of saints.

[Alexus🐐 @Alexusdeyforyou]

She too goood,damn!!

[Ash @theashrb]

I just find it funny how Arab royals can come to the UK and get absolutely shitfaced on Class-A drugs but want people executed for doing the same thing in their country 😂

[Cesar Augusto Londoño @cesaralo]

🚨UEFA estaría próxima a anunciar que, si Manchester City es declarado culpable tras su apelación, será expulsado de todas las competiciones europeas en un periodo de 7 a 10 años. Con esa medida, no podría jugar en Champions, Liga de Europa y Conference League. El club fue declarado culpable de 115 violaciones financieras en primera instancia.