Bryan Johnson reveals why he uses an umbrella even when it’s not raining and UV levels are low
“90% of physical skin aging is from the sun, so this is a UV umbrella protecting me”
If you send all the real troops off and think you can contain the people at home with ICE clowns, y'all are deeply f*cked.
Torches and pitchforks are coming. Get out of the country now, gilded lilies. The mobs are coming.
Netflix: YouTube is a major threat and we value cinema, it'll be great. Allow this merger please.
Matt Damon: They make you write like a child so that doomscrollers can follow along.
Bill Simmons: Yeah and YouTube kinda sucks too.
https://t.co/SOJAzlSvuA
I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!
Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”
The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”
“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”
“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”
Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.
“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”
Tears began to well up in their eyes.
“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”
They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.
I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”
He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”
Operation Metro Surge is making good on catching and NOT releasing!
This Honduran national and criminal illegal alien is wanted by the Saint Paul Sheriff’s for Driving While Intoxicated. But because of sanctuary policies, we won’t turn him over, as he’ll then be released back into the community.
Instead, the #GreenMachine will send him back to Honduras—keeping our communities safe.
#DHS #CBP #BorderPatrol #OpMetroSurge #Minneapolis