steinberger

I'm 69 inches tall and really proud of it. #dirty

[steinberger @g00berstag]

I wish I could play this trick on someone w my actual vagina without it meaning that a man would be glued to the inside of me. #AprilFools https://t.co/FSsuX4kkmQ

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

[at the ER]

Doctor: ...
Me: ...
Doctor: ...is that a Fleshlight?
Me: Yep
Doctor: ...
Me: ...
Doctor: Kids fill it with glue?
Me: Yep

[The Simpsons @TheSimpsons]

Marge Simpson has something to say.

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

Everyone please take a moment and follow @svdate and thank him.

He did today what has needed to be done for YEARS.
">https://t.co/0vrJWZ4ayQ

[T O R O N T O 🍁 @Toronto]

YES I AM!! 🍁

TORONTO IS IN CANADA! 🇨🇦

💙 ~T.O.

[Jo @jgblhs]

@MJMcKean @IngrahamAngle You haven’t seen the newest, Trump approved map yet.

[Kat Kinsman @kittenwithawhip]

@IngrahamAngle Ma'am, this is a Tim Horton's.

[steinberger @g00berstag]

Why is EVERY virtual workout trainer like:
"Remember to breathe & go at your own pace. There's no rush! Quality over quantity!"
*does one complicated move, quickly*
"...12! Now that we've completed burpee-thrusts, on to the next exercise!
#workoutathome #intermediatelevelmyass

[900 Bay Overheard @900BayOverheard]

"now is the time you'll REALLY see what timid sheep senior bureaucrats are. they're literally sitting around waiting for someone to tell them to do the obvious thing. they'll put you and the public's health at risk bc they can't do ANYTHING new"

[feminist next door @emrazz]

Someone DREW A CARTOON of Greta Thunberg, a teenager, being violently raped. Naturally, some oilfield companymen decided to PRINT IT ON A PROMO STICKER WITH THEIR LOGO. Men love to laughingly remind us that if we speak out, we deserve what’s coming to us. https://t.co/DusntoCTIh

[steinberger @g00berstag]

Support women in STEM!! @OlaySkin will donate $1 for every tweet that includes the hashtag #MakeSpaceForWomen, up to $500,000. We need more women like my scientist schlister, @rcgoulet!! ❤️❤️❤️ https://t.co/7k7gVLdSmb

[steinberger @g00berstag]

Is #MichaelHorowitz being played by @SteveMartinToGo?? Kinda.
#ImpeachmentHearings

[steinberger @g00berstag]

Does anybody else feel like most of their girlfriends are with men who need far too much attention?? #growupshesnotyourmom

[steinberger @g00berstag]

I've been exchanging sexual GIFs with my bff and now Instagram send me ads for "female-driven erotica"... #hardcoretosoftcoreinoneswipe #porn

[John Tory @JohnTory]

Good morning Toronto! Today is #WeTheNorthDay! Our city is ready to celebrate the @Raptors NBA championship with a parade and rally. Encouraging everyone to come out for today’s #RaptorsParade! #WeTheNorth #WeTheChampions

[steinberger @g00berstag]

Dear lady at the gym who hopped on the machine directly next to me while literally every other machine of the kind was available: I did not enjoy your sweaty company. It's called #planetfitness... surely there's room elsewhere.

[steinberger @g00berstag]

It's not raining or snowing so yay guess it's time for obnoxious cyclists to start not-yielding on pedestrian walkways. #Toronto #cyclists #sucksometimes #westtorontorailpath

[steinberger @g00berstag]

@UPexpress So, the 8:29am train at Bloor is now the 8:44am?! So glad to get up early and waste $5.30, only to be late for everything. Y'all need to head to #Switzerland - their trains run ON AN ACTUAL SCHEDULE.

[steinberger @g00berstag]

It is my dream to someday meet someone who can take a shit without bringing their phone. #goals

[steinberger @g00berstag]

Talking about stuff is easier said than done... But please always talk about stuff. #BellLetsTalk

[steinberger @g00berstag]

The trouble w/ dating a guy who drives a cargo van is the dog-like response I now have to the sound of a van's door. These vans are everywhere. I hear it thru my window & think he's come to surprise me & get all excited & then it's not him & I get mad at him & he'll never get it.

[steinberger @g00berstag]

I've never met a dad who didn't need to tell me that dogs can't eat chicken bones. #dadruinsstuff