It’s so important to honor your standards at all times. You know what you deserve and you know exactly what you do not deserve. You do a lot for people and you deserve all of that back and more. Don’t convince yourself otherwise. Trust your gut.
I realized how long term focused I am. Down to a pulp. I really view things through a lens of “Is this a good investment of my time and energy? Will whatever I put into this, appreciate over time and be useful to me over the course of months or years?”
If you don’t do things for the hell of it sometimes. If you don’t spice things up and just take a little risk, you won’t ever know what you’re missing. You’ll never experience the joy of a short term impulsive venture possibly becoming a long term one.