kia

I write threads so you don't have to read 12 books. New one weekly.

[kia @gana2330]

マッチングアプリで知り合った女性と初デートに行った。

会話も弾み、驚くほど気が合った。

ところが、食事の途中で彼女が祖父の名字を口にした瞬間、僕の手が止まっ

その名字は、僕の祖母の家系と同じだった。

気になって祖母の旧姓を伝えると、彼女の表情が変わった。

[♤ @priest_099]

昨日娘と電車乗ってたら、車内ガラガラで席も空いてるのに私たちの目の前に立ったおじがいきなり無言で娘の膝の上に小さめの紙袋を置き、娘が｢ﾌﾟﾙｧ」とうさぎみたいな奇声を発して膝に置かれた紙袋を手で勢いよく払い落とした

奇行種（おじ）と奇行種（娘）のぶつかり稽古に呆然としちゃった…

[White @Uvalajnr]

My girlfriend’s younger brother called me one evening and asked me not to tell her he had contacted me.

I thought he was in trouble, so I asked what happened.

He said, “Please, can you come to our house tomorrow? I need you to see something before my sister destroys it.”

I was confused, but I agreed.

The next afternoon, I arrived and he took me straight to his room.

He opened his wardrobe and brought out a box filled with old birthday cards, handwritten letters and photographs of my girlfriend.

At the bottom was a small envelope with my name on it.

I asked him what it was.

He said, “She doesn’t know I found this.”

[Iamemperor @Iamemperor00]

My girlfriend and I were spending the evening with her two closest friends when someone suggested we play Truth or Dare. I thought it would be a harmless game until her best friend picked up the bottle and said she had a special dare prepared for me.

Her best friend: “Truth or dare?”

Me: “Dare.”

Her best friend: “I dare you to let my best friend read the last three messages you sent to someone you find attractive.”

I laughed because I thought she was joking.

My girlfriend immediately turned toward me.

Girlfriend: “Why are you laughing? You can do it if there’s nothing to hide.”

Me: “Fine. But you have to play by the same rules.”

Her best friend spun the bottle again, and it landed on my girlfriend.

Her other friend: “Truth or dare?”

Girlfriend: “Truth.”

Her other friend: “Have you ever been jealous of one of your friends because of the way your boyfriend treats her?”

My girlfriend went quiet.

I looked at her, expecting her to say no, but she slowly nodded.

Girlfriend: “Yes. And it’s actually the reason I suggested we play this game tonight.”

[Notes @8Notess]

It was strange how all the lesbians in our group suddenly wanted him. Every one of them seemed curious about what it would feel like to have a taste of him.

But none of them knew he had a secret.

Tonight was supposed to be her night to finally smash him at his apartment. He had gone out to buy condoms, leaving her alone in his bedroom.

While looking for a shirt, she opened his wardrobe and discovered a large black box hidden behind his clothes.

Curiosity got the better of her.

She opened it.

Inside were handcuffs, leather restraints, blindfolds, paddles, collars and all sorts of BDSM equipment.

She stood there staring at the collection.

Then she noticed a handwritten note attached to the box.

It read: "Rules for my next session."

She heard his key turn in the door.

"Baby, what exactly do you have planned for tonight?" she asked when he walked in.

He looked at the open box, smiled awkwardly and replied:

"Well, I guess the surprise is ruined."

[Busola Onikeeki @Busolaonicake]

夫は、兄弟姉妹の中で一番経済的に苦労している人だった。
それでも、先日、夫の家族が私たちにしてくれたことを思い出すたび、今でも涙が出そうになる。
夫は以前、銀行に勤めていた。しかし、勤務先の銀行が金融当局の規制基準を満たせず、営業免許を取り消されたことで職を失った。
それから私たちの生活は一変した。
家計は私が一人で支えることになった。もちろん、それ自体は夫婦で乗り越えるべき問題だと思っていた。
ただ、私がずっと気になっていたのは、夫が自分の家族の中でどんな扱いを受けていたかということだった。

[Notes @8Notess]

I walked in on my wife masturbating to black lesbian porn, and what caught me off guard was how completely lost she was in it.

She was lying on her back, legs apart, one hand holding her phone while the other was busy under the sheets. Her head was slightly tilted, eyes fixed on the screen, and she seemed completely unaware that I was standing at the bedroom door.

She was so absorbed that she didn't even hear me come in.

I stood there for a few seconds before quietly walking away.

But here's where things get interesting.

[Patrick @NoxParagraph]

My girlfriend's best friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend for one evening.

She said her family wouldn't stop pressuring her about being single, and she just needed someone to play along at dinner.

I agreed because we'd known each other for years, and I didn't think it would be a big deal.

But when I arrived, she introduced me as her boyfriend, held my hand across the table, and kissed my cheek.

I laughed it off.

Then her mother looked at me and asked, "So, when are you two planning to get married?"

[Iamemperor @Iamemperor00]

My girlfriend invited three of her female friends over for a sleepover, and one of them suggested we play a game called Clothes Auction.

The rules were simple. Everyone had to write down funny challenges and put them inside a bowl. Whenever someone refused to complete a challenge, they had to surrender an item of clothing or accept a different dare.

My girlfriend thought it was hilarious and immediately agreed.

We started with harmless challenges like dancing, revealing embarrassing secrets, and imitating someone in the room.

Then her best friend picked a paper that required her to reveal the biggest secret she had kept from my girlfriend.

She laughed nervously before saying she wasn’t sure she wanted to continue playing.

[White @Uvalajnr]

My girlfriend refused to let me meet one particular woman in her family.

Every time I asked about her, she changed the subject.

Last weekend, I was helping her carry groceries into the house when an older woman opened the door.

She looked at me, smiled and said, “So you’re the man my daughter has been talking about.”

I smiled and greeted her.

Then my girlfriend came out of the kitchen, saw the woman and immediately said, “Mum, I thought you weren’t coming today.”

Her mother laughed.

But before I could understand what was happening, she turned to me and asked:

“Has she told you why she stopped speaking to me for almost four years?”

My girlfriend went completely silent.

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

A woman told her boyfriend she needed a break from their relationship because she wanted to figure out what she really wanted.
He agreed without arguing.
She went away for three weeks, enjoying her freedom and posting pictures with friends.
When she returned, she called him and said she was ready to continue where they had left off.
He calmly replied, “I’m sorry, who is this?”

[SINGLE @Young_Fish01]

Me: “Who is the little boy in this picture?”

Darren: “What picture?”

Me: “The one I just found in your old email. He’s sitting on your lap. The message says, ‘Happy birthday to my son.’ Darren, who is he?”

My husband stopped eating. He looked at the phone in my hand, then looked away.

Darren: “I was going to tell you.”

Me: “You’ve been married to me for six years. We’ve been together for nine. When exactly were you planning to tell me?”

Darren: “His name is Noah. He’s my son.”

I felt my stomach tighten.

Me: “Your son?”

Darren: “Yes.”

Me: “How old is he?”

Darren: “Eleven.”

I stared at him.

We had been married for six years, and he had an eleven-year-old son I had never heard about.

Me: “So you had a child before you met me?”

Darren: “Yes. It happened when I was twenty-three. I was dating someone named Vanessa. We broke up before I knew she was pregnant.”

Me: “And you never thought to mention that to me?”

Darren: “I found out about….

[Busola Onikeeki @Busolaonicake]

兄に頬を叩かれ、「今すぐこの家から出ていけ！」と怒鳴られた。
その場には両親もいた。
母は箸を置いてうつむき、父はテレビの音量を少し上げただけだった。
誰一人、私をかばわなかった。
ところが、それから8日後。
母は私の名前が書かれた一通の書留を受け取った途端、何十回も電話をかけてくることになる。
すべてが始まったのは、母からの電話だった。
「今度の日曜日、久しぶりに家族みんなで食事しない？ ちょっと話したいこともあるから」
私は東京から車で2時間半かけて、実家のある静岡まで帰った。

[Iamemperor @Iamemperor00]

My girlfriend and I were spending the weekend at a beach resort with two of her closest friends when someone suggested we play Truth or Dare in our hotel room.

At first, it was just harmless fun. They asked embarrassing questions, gave each other silly challenges, and laughed at almost everything.

But after a few rounds, my girlfriend’s best friend decided to make things interesting.

She picked up the bottle and pointed it at me.

Friend: Truth or dare?

Me: Dare.

Friend: I dare you to sit between me and your girlfriend for the next three rounds, and you must do whatever the person beside you whispers in your ear.

My girlfriend immediately laughed.

Girlfriend: That’s an interesting dare. Let’s see how brave he is.

I moved between them, and the game continued.

My girlfriend whispered something in my ear that made me smile, while her best friend kept watching my reaction.

When it was her turn, the bottle pointed at my girlfriend’s best friend.

Friend: Dare.

My girlfriend smiled.

Girlfriend: I dare you to give my boyfriend a kiss on the cheek and hold it for five seconds.

Her friend looked at me, laughed nervously, and did exactly that.

Everybody started shouting.

[Busola Onikeeki @Busolaonicake]

弟から家族のLINEグループにメッセージが届いた。
「今週末の新居のお披露目会、お姉ちゃんは来なくていいよ。妻が、君がいると友達を呼びづらいって言ってるから」
一瞬、何を言われたのか分からなかった。
さらに驚いたのは、その直後だった。
母は笑っているスタンプを送り、父はハートの絵文字で反応した。
誰も弟をたしなめなかった。
私は長い返事をする気にもなれず、ただ一言だけ送った。
「分かったよ」
そして翌週の月曜日。

[億り人ちゃん @iamnamake_]

女の子の体重と比例する現実

・65kg→痩せろ独身で終わる
・60kg→まだ自分に甘すぎる
・55kg→ポチャ線にしか受けない
・50kg→やっと彼氏ができるぐらい
・45kg→努力の結晶維持を継続しろ
・40kg→お前は天才人生を楽しめ
・35kg→痩せすぎおっぱい無いだろ

身長にもよるが女は痩せてる方が良い

[ケイ♂ @nijinopapa1225]

さっきコンビニのトイレで💩してたら強めのノック２発。

ちょっと急いで💩しようと頑張ってたら30秒ぐらいでさらに強めのノック２発と

高田延彦を彷彿とさせる
「でてこいやぁ〜！」

こっちの💩事情もあるんで
ま！だ！って意味を込めて強めのノック２発

↓↓↓↓↓↓

[じゅんご @jungo_FanMarke]

回転寿司に行くなら

🥉 やめとけ
・かっぱ寿司、元気寿司、はま寿司

🥈 悪くない
・くら寿司、スシロー、にぎりの徳兵衛

🥇 実はここが最強↓

[Re!kò🎀 @itsreikoz]

If a 22 year old woman is mature enough to marry a 30 year old man, she’s mature enough to question his decisions, disagree with him & refuse to be controlled by him

[kia @gana2330]

それでも彼女は後悔していない。

「結婚式を中止するのはつらかった。でも、自分の尊厳を失う結婚をするほうが、もっと怖かった」

愛していることを証明するために、自分の尊厳を差し出す必要はない。

[kia @gana2330]

結婚式を3日後に控えた友人から、突然電話がかかってきた。

「彼から、とんでもないことを言われたの」

話を聞くと、婚約者の家族が結婚前に彼女の過去について確認したいと言い出したらしい。

しかも、彼女が本当に純潔なのか、家族の前で証明してほしいという。

彼女は当然、拒否した。

[kia @gana2330]

「私はあなたと結婚したかった。でも、信頼されないまま結婚することはできない」

彼は怒り、彼女を責めた。

それでも彼女は婚約を解消し、実家へ戻った。

結婚式の準備に使った時間も、お金も、すべて無駄になったように感じたという。