g cake

i once made eye contact with tyrese and noticeably creeped him out

[g cake @GarrettCake]

@donni Mmm …Barbecue sauce

[g cake @GarrettCake]

@ETSshow Hey Mark. Best audiobook I’ve heard by far is the classic “Lonesome Dove”. Incredible reader.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

@DothTheDoth Nick Cutter is someone to check out if you haven’t yet.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

@DothTheDoth “The Fisherman” by John Langan

[g cake @GarrettCake]

Really miss causing a ruckus in Fresh Choice by dipping my pizza in the clam chowder.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

@BBW_BFF https://t.co/bRzCDHfLGi i thought i saw that painting somewhere before. Very cool. Great book too.. Highly recommend

[Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake]

I dressed as a chimp for 4 years to win a woman's heart. Eventually I realized that disguising myself was a breech of trust and revealing myself would be a betrayal. I stayed a chimp 3 more years, contributing to important data she was collecting. I realize now I sullied that too

[g cake @GarrettCake]

@pattymo

[slick @dlicj]

cant believe there are people making 'sex robots' when they could be working on robots that can cure cancer and we could have sex w those

[g cake @GarrettCake]

...im going to eat this

[g cake @GarrettCake]

I'm not sophisticated enough to enjoy dark chocolate

[g cake @GarrettCake]

Just bought a strawberry from a wizard

[mr. joshua @pants]

Family Fun

[Gavin Speiller @gavinspeiller]

Anytime I'm feeling discouraged I remind myself that before he made the NBA, Michael Jordan was a 33 year-old, overweight, white guy.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

It may be "unsophisticated" and "illegal" but pooping directly into the sewer can save thousands of gallons of water a year.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

A good title for a book about a tortoise going through puberty would be The Tortoise and the Hair.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

I'm the guy that squeezed the avocados at the grocery store way too hard.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

Had a nightmare Guy Fieri was spooning me and kept whispering the pastabilities are endless.

[g cake @GarrettCake]

If you have a large blanket of wolves howling hung on your wall I know exactly what your house smells like.

[ceej @ceejoyner]

When I said I had a military background I was referring to my screensaver of marines playing volleyball.