Gartz

Sandwiches.

[Gartz @gartz_]

TMW you sit down to take a water break after smoothing out your first @Ruggable and Ruggable be like, “Hiyyeee!”

[Gartz @gartz_]

dying.

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

Why beavers should NOT be household pets. 🦫👀🤣

[Gartz @gartz_]

@tonydokoupil Way to go Tony! You and Katy looked great in da club.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Edna. She always finds the fluffiest dogs at daycare so she can take a nap on them. 13/10 for all

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

We only rate dogs. This is a little reindeer who's wondering where tryouts are for Santa's sleigh. Please try to only send dogs. Thank you… 12/10

[Gartz @gartz_]

President Zelenskyy is the Ukrainian Jed Bartlett.
🥹🇺🇦

[Gartz @gartz_]

So glad this beat metaverse.

[Oxford University Press @OxUniPress]

The ‘goblin community’ has spoken!

We’re pleased to announce goblin mode as the #OxfordWOTY 2022.

Read more about this year’s winning choice here #TeamGoblinMode: https://t.co/NmC2UYau3U

[Gartz @gartz_]

FINALLY! The slur I never knew I always wanted! Thank you Cecily Strong for going all-in. #suckmysleeve

Jets Fans - SNL https://t.co/SnnjDLHitH via @YouTube

[Gartz @gartz_]

Dear Wisconsin,
If you oust RoJo and elect @TheOtherMandela on Tuesday I promise to celebrate by spending a ton of money in the Fox Valley on Wednesday.
#youcandoit

[Chef José Andrés 🕊️🥘🍳 @chefjoseandres]

Beautiful…..

[Gartz @gartz_]

@VanessaMarigold Never. Whenever possible I go in with 3-day bed head, hair under beanie. I reveal and we laugh our asses off. We both feel supremely satisfied as I swagger out of the salon.

[Gartz @gartz_]

@weijia Welcome back Weijia! This news nerd missed you.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Toby. He has perfected the rare double scratch. Truly amazing to behold. 13/10

[Gartz @gartz_]

@marcmaron I just saw an ad for Tumeric and I yelled back at the TV, “Does it have black pepper‽”

[Gartz @gartz_]

@johndickerson Would you believe tonight’s Wheel of Fortune lead-in on @WCCO to the #January6thCommitteeHearings ?! 😆

[Gartz @gartz_]

@Apple Hiiyeee, new AppleCard user here and you are blowing my mind.

[Gartz @gartz_]

There is only one thing sexier than asking for consent. It’s giving it. Make active consent a part of your playtime practices. #SAAM2022

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

Before April is over, don’t forget it’s sexual assault awareness month, no means no! It’s doesn’t matter what you wear, it doesn’t matter who you are, male or female. For anyone going through this, the shame is not yours to carry… it’s the monsters who do this. #SAAM2022 💜

[Gartz @gartz_]

GRAUPEL! Thank you @RileyOConnorwx i love new weather words. Not gaga about April snow but that’s not on you.

https://t.co/kSwt013y9j

[Gartz @gartz_]

@dominos Reheat heaven: Put pizza in dry non-stick skillet with lid. Meanwhile, fry an egg.
mwah 🤌