Gathoni wa Njeke

Information Security and IT risk specialist, music and movies lover, great food enthusiast, travel fanatic,child of God, mother. Views are my own.

[Carlos Pinilla @CarlosP59051425]

Su cercanía, su alegría contagiosa, su altura intelectual, su capacidad para transmitir paz, su autoridad moral…
¡Qué Dios guarde al Papa León!

[Jensen Huang @JensenHuang]

For my first post, I’m sharing a letter @NVIDIA signed on why open models matter.

AI will transform every industry, power every company, and be built by every country.

Open models strengthen safety and cybersecurity, accelerate innovation and diffusion, and enable sovereignty.

The world needs both frontier closed models and frontier open models.

https://t.co/AUKzoQ5Ikb

[Gustavo Veloso @g_vgouvea]

Não entendo os EUA. Ter uma amante derruba um CEO. Mas pedofilia não derruba o presidente?

[NYLONMAN @NylonMan0]

I'm genuinely confused.

So after the inflation.
After the kidnappings.
After months of no light.
After tax and fuel hikes.
After terrible healthcare.

After salaries can't even keep up with feeding.

Election Day comes then:
You dress up, You leave your house, You queue under the hot sun, You vote for the same person again.

You are not normal.

[NTV Kenya @ntvkenya]

Political Parties Disputes Tribunal dismisses two applications to stop Sifuna's Linda Mwananchi National Delegates Conference to endorse his presidential bid; event set to proceed tomorrow (Friday).

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

A few months ago, my grandfather Njoroge Kîmondo got added to a SBS Business School WhatsApp group by mistake.

He refused to leave.

Today he is its most important member.

Guka is 76.

He changed his Safaricom line and Safaricom, in its wisdom, gave him a recycled number that once belonged to a university student.

Two days later he was added to "SBS Business School Seniors." 43 students.

Anyone else would have exited quietly.

My grandpa is not anyone else.

He is Kingeero stubborn. Stubborn as fuck.

For one week he said nothing.

He was "studying the environment," he later explained, like an anthropologist sent by the UN.

Then one Thursday a student posted: "Guys, is depreciation coming in the accounting exam? I'm lost."

Now. My grandpa has run a general shop in Kingeero since the 1970s.

He learned accounting over 40 years behind that counter, with a counter book and a pencil behind his ear.

He couldn't resist.

"Depreciation always comes, son. In the exam and in life. Read the straight-line method first. That is what professors like.

Sincerely, Maisha Kwagira."

(Maisha Kwagira means "life is tough here." He says it about everything: the price of sugar, the rain, Arsenal. It became his name.)

The group froze.

"Who is Maisha Kwagira?"

"That number joined last week. I thought he was a transfer student."

"Guys… Maisha Kwagira is a mzee."

Confronted, Guka introduced himself with the dignity of an ambassador presenting credentials at State House:

"Maisha Kwagira, 76, from Kingeero.

I have just got this number. I am not leaving.

You ALL need help with accounting.

And apparently with time also.

Who is sending messages at 3am on a Tuesday?

Go and sleep, young lady."

The group adopted him on the spot.

And so began the Maisha Kwagira era.

He explains accounting using the shop: "Inventory is like fresh milk. Buy the wrong stock and you will watch it go sour."

He accidentally started a dialect.

He signs every message "Sincerely, Maisha Kwagira."

Now all 43 do it.

"Sincerely, Omondi."

"Sincerely, Wanjiru."

"Sincerely, Brayo."

He scolds them about attendance:

"Nobody has confirmed for Saturday's group project.

In our days we called that bad manners. Sincerely, Maisha Kwagira."

By evening, all 43 had confirmed.

The man became the class's collective superego.

At the end of the semester, the class officially invited him to their party at 1824 Club, Nairobi.

Guka showed up in a pressed savco jeans.

He brought Shosho.

And a 20-litre jerrycan of pure mūratina, brewed from scratch with honey from his own farm.

Not sugar. Honey.

"Because students drink cheap things."

He was the star of the night.

He told stories.

He gave career advice no LinkedIn coach can give.

He danced with Shosho.

The DJ killed the Amapiano mid-song and switched to Zilizopendwa rumba, then Mugithi. Just for them.

There's a photo: Guka in borrowed sunglasses, 20 SBS students around him, all striking the same pose.

Caption: "Guka of the Semester."

Then the part nobody expected.

Three students passed accounting with his help.

One posted the result in the group: "Got an A. Thanks to Maisha Kwagira's milk method."

Guka printed that screenshot.

It now hangs on his sitting-room wall in Kingeero, next to the grandchildren's graduation photos and a 1998 KCC calendar.

Same wall privileges.

The accounting lecturer eventually figured out why half the class kept mentioning milk in the exam.

Word reached SBS management.

They have invited him to give a talk: "Accounting in Practice: 40 Years Behind the Counter."

He is preparing slides. My cousin is teaching him PowerPoint.

Progress is slow. But he has already chosen his opening slide:
"Sincerely, Maisha Kwagira."

Next semester is their last before graduation.

They've already told him: "Guka, you're coming with us."

He was the first to confirm in the new group.

Safaricom gave him the wrong number.

SBS got exactly the right member.

[joão @joa0rosa]

O que vou falar pode soar escandaloso mas estou desconfiado de que Deus está agindo através do Papa.

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

I think Sifuna has become bigger than what he actually imagines himself as. I dont think he has diacovered how Momentous he is,Yet

[Lauren Lahm @LahmLauren]

Nganya owners, it's time muanze kuweka graphics featuring Edwin Sifuna and Linda Mwananchi Movement kwa hizo nganya.

By Management.

[Citizen TV Kenya @citizentvkenya]

As I keep telling my brothers Steve, Riggy G, and Eugene, the seat can only be occupied by one person at a time. From what I have heard, Kenyans have already made their decision; they only have one problem: the unity of the Opposition - Former President Uhuru Kenyatta

[Maurice Otieno @MauriceOtienoO]

Damn, malls on every corner, and they’re replacing Nairobi’s cultural and creative spaces like Pallets Café on James Gichuru. They all have the same lineup: Optica, ChapaCopy, Carrefour Market, Whiskey Hub. How many Opticas does one city need? What are we not seeing

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

Today idols arise and demand our worship: success at any cost, money, an obsession with appearance, popularity, or the unrestrained pursuit of pleasure. Sometimes, in order to win the approval of others, we may go so far as to lie, betray, or humiliate someone on social media. Do not bow down before anything that cannot give you life. And if you have ever fallen, get back up. Do not allow anything or anyone to take away the freedom God has given you. #ApostolicJourney #Argentina

[Bhandafod @Bhandafod_]

I have one question… actually, a LOT of questions. 😭

[Joel Jiranï @Kemboi67]

Sifuna is sacrificing his senatorial position and his political future

Kalonzo has nothing to loose

Gachagua the same

Eugene hata yeye anajua hakuna kitu atapoteza

We can't let Sifuna down, ndio maana sisi ndio tunataka yeye.

Old folks mambo yao is gone forever.

[Robert 🇺🇸 @ziegler2u]

Well Damn I went in and yes they did turn this back on 😡😡🤬

[Peris @Wambuib4sky]

Sifuna once said that he doesn't need to know everything;he just needs to appoint experts in the right positions. Unlike someone we know who pretends to know it all na ni ujinga tupu

[Generali Osumo @generali_osumo]

A Kenyan called Spice FM engagement session in the morning show Situation Room and decided that he will go down with kasongo mercilessly! Kenyans don't joke at times!

[Awesome Videos ❤️ @Awesomevideos07]

China is playing on another level 😂

[Valuetainment @valuetainment]

JUST IN: Jensen Huang reportedly has no prenup, meaning a divorce could cost him $81 billion, the most expensive divorce ever.

[Rapcha The Sayantist @IAMRAPCHA]

He's angry because Sifuna put an end to his political career with two rallies... Two rallies

He will no longer use western as a bargaining chip