Lo

[metakuna (14/100 blog posts) @metakuna]

As a man:
"We're pregnant"
- Cringe
- Pathetic
- Taking half the credit

"My wife is pregnant":
- Classic
- Married? Good so it's not a sin

"I'm pregnant":
- Intriguing
- Preserves your partner's privacy
- Taking all the credit 🔥💯

[RyansAverageLife @RyanAbe]

Seeing all of the 1d fans logging into their old/inactive stan accounts just to pay their respects to Liam is oddly touching. One direction has an insane legacy when it comes to twitter. Those who know, know.

[ally ౨ৎ on tour @asheseilish]

i need one direction to never ever reunite after seeing the ticketmaster queues for oasis

[rosie 💋🪩 @babyhcney]

i know every single harrie had this as their lockscreen in 2016/2017

[kim @KimmyMonte]

my friend: i really need your advice

me, ordering several things online i can’t afford while eating a block of cheese: yes ofc you’ve come to the right person

[weird girl @groovy_judy]

Youre in his dms im fucking up the youtube algorithm on his tv.

[Sophie Rhone @SophieRhone]

This needs to be shared, far and wide. #MAFSAU

[Paul Cox @PaulCoxComedy]

According to the Met Office April has been ‘warmer than average’

Is everyone at the Met Office pissed?
Warmer than what average?
The average temperature of a polar bears ball bag?

[❄️ @twinflamebreeze]

he looks like he's about to go home, get ahead, light-speed internet, he don't wanna talk about the way that it was

[J @64_hero22]

Just asked my missus where half of my teaspoons have gone. She’s told me that sometimes she bins them when she takes them to work because she can’t be bothered washing them and now my head is on Mars. I don’t think I can look her in the eyes again without wanting to spit on her.

[leon alpuche @skyferrori]

stop putting music to your ig posts

[Elsa Williams @williamspidge]

Oh my God they’ve killed her

[Ed @ted_pen]

two guys having an animated sign language conversation in the quiet carriage. not against the rules but surely not in the spirit

[Séamus Malekafzali @Seamus_Malek]

Elmo I'm gonna be real I am at my fucking limit

[Sokhulu @BonganiNtuli]

“I hope this email finds you before I do”

[Kim Iversen 🇺🇸 @KimIversenShow]

When it gets to the point when they start rounding up people claiming they’re all criminals simply for their religion or ethnicity, isn’t it then a Holocaust?