Geoffrey Kyper

[Middle Age Riot @middleageriot]

BREAKING: Contrary to rumor, the Banana Splits will not be performing at Donald Trump's Freedom 250 concert.

[Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @NotHoodlum]

🥴😂🥴

[The Blue Torch @_TheBlueTorch]

No lies detected:

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

Wishing you luck this St. Patty’s Day — you’re going to need it! 🍀🍀🍀

[DulceBiatch @BiatchDulce]

🤷🏻‍♀️

[LateNighter @latenightercom]

SNL's Colin Jost on Iran: "This attack might be a bad idea, I don't know. I'm not really an expert on Iran. So let's hear from someone who can explain why we might have done it."

[Keith Olbermann @KeithOlbermann]

"Operation Epic Fury" because
"Operation Epstein Diversion" didn't sound warfightery enough

[Tom Hoefling @TomHoefling]

Ike foresaw MAGA.

"If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power." 

-- DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER, speech, Mar. 6, 1956

[(((DeanObeidallah))) @DeanObeidallah]

On left from the film "1984" with photo of Big Brother. On right the new image Trump had posted outside DOJ. The resemblance between these two is NOT a coincidence.

[Meacham @MeachamDr]

Fun Fact: the countries that pay Trump’s tariffs are in red on this map.

[anyone_want_chips @anyonewantchips]

So Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito & Brett Kavanaugh claim to be originalists - but only if fits their narrative.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Spot on!

[Brian Allen @allenanalysis]

🚨 Ilhan Omar isn’t wrong:

Clinton was impeached over an affair.
Nixon resigned over one burglary.

Trump has 34 felony convictions and deepening ties in the Epstein files — and he’s still president.

This isn’t normal. It’s institutional failure.

[CONSEQUENCE @consequence]

Jon Stewart responded to MAGA's criticism of Bad Bunny's halftime performance during his monologue on The Daily Show.

"When did the right become such fucking pussies? Remember 2017? Remember what you hated about liberals? Perpetually offended, safe spaces, censoring free speech, culture of victimhood. Remind you of anyone? 'Oh, I can't go 15 minutes without listening to country music. I need a separate show.' 'Oh, that skier triggered me. I can't sleep.' Not the best imitation, but you know what I'm going for.

"This whole culture war this weekend has really demonstrated one thing. It's that for all of MAGA's triumphalism, it's not a movement that seems confident in its position. These people who control every branch of government are so triggered by someone singing in Spanish for 20 minutes, they need to create their own safe space alternative halftime show, where Trad Bunny over here is singing songs about how he can't even enjoy sitting in a truck and drinking beer because he knows that somewhere out there, there's a trans person.

"It's actually fucking pathetic. The gap between the power you all wield and the victimhood you all claim is the real offense. If you didn't actually have the power to do so much damage in our country, I think we all dismiss it as a weak and pathetic pity party. That's what you're throwing."

[Protect Kamala Harris ✊ @DisavowTrump20]

In 1975, Congress passed a bill to name a federal building after President Gerald Ford, which he vetoed:

“I would hope Presidents will be remembered for their labors in building better Government rather than for their efforts in constructing public works projects to themselves”

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

If Jeff Bezos could afford to spend $75 million on the Melania movie & $500 million for a yacht to sail off to his $55 million wedding to give his wife a $5 million ring, please don't tell me he needed to fire one-third of the Washington Post staff.

Democracy dies in oligarchy.