rosa 🐭

priv: @munchlax100

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

i harp on about mental hunger and i'm serious. sufficiently-nourished people RARELY feel the compulsion to go to the store, turn over every package and analyze every product, only to leave with maybe one or two items. and i can't describe just how relieving it is to be past that.

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

btw grocery stores become significantly less interesting when you eat enough food

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

don't get me wrong, i still go to the store with my dad every time we need food. i still like picking out my own snacks. that's normal. but i'm not joking when i say i used to walk to the grocery store alone, every single day, and walk through the aisles like a ghost. not normal.

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

a little message in honour of me getting thru extreme hunger :,) it gets better <3

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

like i try every year to break the cycle, and i do Not want to live in a way that feels like i'm constantly breaking myself down and building myself up over and over and over again annually. it is beyond frustrating

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

i hate how dumbed down seasonal affective disorder is because life genuinely has felt like this cycle every year as long as i can remember! it feels like the people in my life see it as just "winter is sad" when it genuinely makes life not feel worth it some days

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

this is how october/november feel when u have seasonal depression

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

this is how october/november feel when u have seasonal depression

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

when someone posts a wieiad with beautifully crafted elaborate food (that could feed a toddler) & claims they have a small appetite .... i know ur lying.... i just can't prove it...

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

yes i have gained weight. but every pound that i have gained has been a pound that's allowing me to do the things i love & be with the people that i love. i have grown in every sense of the word, and i'm very happy about it.

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

also wanted to reiterate for the thousandth time that i am beyond grateful i chose recovery. it's worth it, to be able to make people laugh, to join my friends in spontaneous plans, so i can dinner for my whole family, so i can drive to get a burrito in the middle of the night -

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

to be silly about fandom stuff, but i'll pop in here whenever i can. recovtwt truly helped me immensely through the earliest stages of my journey, and i'm beyond pleased that i was able to share and encourage some of you guys 💕💕 i'm gonna try to be a lil more active, ily all

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

to be silly about fandom stuff, but i'll pop in here whenever i can. recovtwt truly helped me immensely through the earliest stages of my journey, and i'm beyond pleased that i was able to share and encourage some of you guys 💕💕 i'm gonna try to be a lil more active, ily all

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

hey guys ❤️❤️ imy all, i've been doing really really well :) i'm currently in the process of applying to university & vv busy, but i truly hope all of u are well and taking good care of yourselves !!!

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

i guess i didn't anticipate feeling okay so quickly. i didn't anticipate that recovery and eating wouldn't be the first things on my mind every day in a matter of months, but i'm not mad about it. i'm very pleased to have my life back. i'm thinking of making a separate twt -

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

hiii sorry for inactivity i miss u all and i hope everyone's doing well 💕💕💕💕

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

i can absolutely SEE myself relapsing. which is why i still have to be extra careful not to let it happen.

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

well, yes. i believe anyone in recovery is at risk of relapse. it's BECAUSE i can see it happening that i am hyper-vigilant about not getting complacent. i have annoying, nagging thoughts, and i have to intentionally do the opposite!! every day!

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

@sproutishealing it's because they're worried about you sprouty ☹️ i remember this feeling so clearly, i know how annoying it is but they are only searching for some evidence that you aren't going to die on them. they're persistent about it because it is important.

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

@hachidoesntwait AH that makes me relieved!! i feel wary about overstepping because it's important for everyone to realize that their recovery does not need to look like someone else's, but i so vividly remember being in op's shoes and searching for any evidence that recovery was possible for me!

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

AAHHH i missed this, i'm sorry op!! first of all, i'm VERY proud of you for wanting to recover. that's the first hurdle. i wish i could say i immediately went all-in, but that's not super accurate. i began recovering at a very low weight, and my brain would genuinely battle me -

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

i want to add to this & say that i was in the exact same place as op. really, though, i knew what i needed to do (eat a lot of food) and was well-equipped to do it. i was just afraid. recovery is not all-in or nothing; there is nothing wrong with needing a more gradual approach.

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

AAHHH i missed this, i'm sorry op!! first of all, i'm VERY proud of you for wanting to recover. that's the first hurdle. i wish i could say i immediately went all-in, but that's not super accurate. i began recovering at a very low weight, and my brain would genuinely battle me -

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

i wish i had clearer advice for you op, but you really just have to to jump in. start with structured eating (food that you genuinely want), and give yourself grace. don't let any lack of knowledge or understanding of recovery get in the way of you starting, ml ❤️❤️

[rosa 🐭 @geekfart]

- it will fade. i dont have NEARLY as much guilt now. physically-speaking, i urge you to focus on caloric density in your foods. eat the nut butter & candies. it can be distressing to try & eat 2500 calories in lowcal foods, don't bother.