Captain Underpants

The only F word I rock is fabulous..... And fuck.

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

Love that the NFL reviews every crazy play except for when the clock hits :00 in the 4th quarter on a 2 point conversion attempt with pass interference🙄🙄🙄

#DenverBroncos #passinterference #theresstillnextyear

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

@BarneySantos @SquareSupport It’s down worldwide

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

@netflix Hey fuck you for making it so hard for me to sign into MY account at MY house. Your service is a joke🤣

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

Thank you $uicideboy$ for spending 4,310 minutes with me this year on @Spotify. You are my #1. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/yA5SOg2ZnJ

[The Onion @TheOnion]

‘Order, Order,’ Shouts Judge In Kyle Rittenhouse Case While Shooting AR-15 At Ceiling https://t.co/fQnxJ76OJ2

[Alec Sulkin @thesulk]

If America was a video game I’d have just broken my controller.

[Spencer @13spencer]

Oh wow murder is finally legal good to know

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

@huskerpower9495 @notthefakeDibbs @EricT_Wacker @1011_News Perhaps a minor shouldn’t have been there with a gun?😂

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

Wheely McFeely #GeriatricStripClubNames

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

Not your average peep show #GeriatricStripClubNames

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

WW2 aka Wonder Whore 2 #GeriatricStripClubNames

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

Dependable without the Depends #GeriatricStripClubNames

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

Donald Trump #GeriatricStripClubNames

[Veilrot @Veilrot_NE]

"That took some air out of the stadium.." Yeah, that's not the only thing the @Patriots have taken air out of. #milehighstadium #DENvsNE

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

Krampus? I get cramps every month and I'm much more scary than him.

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

If booty = groceries, then I would rather starve to death.

[Captain Underpants @geestheman]

If I drop food on the floor and nobody is around to see, is the food still gross?