Hanna (bite history)

i’m unhinged

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

narrator on Alone: this season, in Alone’s most dangerous setting yet…
me in my 78 degree apartment with my mouth full of spaghetti: nyou schay thisch ebery seasonb 🙄

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

how it feels to have a cold

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

today’s leo szn mood is the woman i was helping shop for skincare products who at one point stopped me mid-recommendation and said “well what do you use? you look beautiful!” then bought the $85 serum i told her i swear by without trying the tester or checking the price

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

nice rule, it would be a shame if someone broke it

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

i love the girl dinner trend, it reminds me of my eating disorder ❤️

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

rewatching 16 and pregnant and it is such a wild show. on this episode, the baby daddy’s mom has forbidden them from calling her grandma because it “makes her feel too old” and also thinks they should name the baby Twilight

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

at my parents’ house and my dad just walked into the kitchen, sighed really heavily and then said “coffee never helps me with my anxiety.”

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

spaghetti should be shorter

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

sorry to hear that you get scared when you’re high, i get really chill and brave

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

@johnsavoiaVEVO thank you!!!! ❤️😭

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

look how FLAT the rolled sleeve is he really logged some hours on there

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

when bae’s cat keeps layin on your shirt so you spread it out for him to sleep on and the next morning find his little nest complete with banana toy 😭😭😭

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

responding to all catcalls this summer by yelling “i have a boyfriend” at them

[milk @milkstrology]

happy cancer season!!!

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

my coworker is getting a kitten this afternoon and it’s all everyone at work is talking about. this is the millennial version of when someone in the office announces they are going to have a baby

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

no offense but i get to spend a rainy evening in cuddling with my hot boyfriend, making him coconut curry and literally nothing else in life matters

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

today i got paged to help a customer for “wellness assistance” and it was a woman who wanted advice on how to smoke cleanse her bathroom because her 4 year old son has been complaining of seeing a demonic entity in it for 3 weeks, how was ur work day?

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

@michelobangelo that chair looks sus

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

i love how widely the urge to chase butterflies spans the animal kingdom. elephants, penguins, otters, humans…sometimes they even be chasing each other

10/10 highly chaseable animal would follow around a meadow

[Hanna (bite history) @gelfling420]

this perfectly describes how i feel today