glanceatwatch

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Competition and individualism is so indelibly imbued in the American psyche that generosity here is not just anathema, it's tantamount to suicide.

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The idea that following the news makes you a responsible adult is like claiming that trimming your nails with a nail clipper makes you a surgeon.

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‘I Lie Awake Dreaming of the Rules’ is my fav album by The White Shadows @perfect_brains

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@EverythingOOC gesundheit

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@OffMenuOfficial home life with the genie... https://t.co/FuJ8SD8v5O

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@beansaladpod whew! Nearly saw in 2024 without having experienced "plaid" as a verb. Thanks, Beans!

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similar sensation can be achieved by crisping your aqueous humour with a hair dryer

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let me guess: your dog's name is Luna.

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spoonerism for a popular computer action

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If it's not broke, why fix it?
Answer: because you're a successful tech company trying to seem "cutting edge" by reinventing the wheel to look more like a square.

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@rayolearycomedy Never read anything more perfectly confusing that also makes perfect sense.

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@Sarah_Kendall https://t.co/NDYvmOZKEW

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@Sarah_Kendall Couldn't agree more. When I wondered if I needed to buy another tube and found a spare sitting in my bathroom drawer, it was like getting to open a lil valentine I'd sent myself that'd patiently waited some 10ish weeks to arrive.

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@alanakicks @Sarah_Kendall That's the one piece of Life Advice I've managed to engrain in my 5-year-old niece's mind so far: there is always ... always ... allllways, a little more toothpaste.

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@SoVeryBritish -You have a talent for playing fast and loose with the facts.

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@rhysjamesy Indeed lol. It's like subscribing to ownership.

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@northmackenzie ...and the famous Bettysburg Address.
Fingers crossed John Waters & Daniel Day-Lewis make this happen. Make some Illinoiz, grrl! 💃

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@beansaladpod @ncntxt3bnsalad @machcomedyfest "one milks" is such a satisfyingly frustrating phrase to roll around in one's brain

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@Wozniophile I simply love that face.