Mrs. Coochie Constable 👮🏾

| 👻-llamahig 🇬🇭🏳️‍🌈

[Mrs. Coochie Constable 👮🏾 @gloriathellama]

@Prof_Erence If I’m legit tryna sleep and I feel a dick in my ass imma squeeze my cheeks and snap it in half 🤷🏿‍♀️

[Kori 👁️👄👁️ @TheSketchyKori]

"Friends is not funny"
"The Office is boring"
"Abbott Elementary is mid"

We get it. Nothing makes you laugh. Perhaps sitcoms are not for you. And that's fine

[cheese @CheesyCheesy3]

Why can’t I bring this to a fucking job interview I’m literally autistic

[cheese @CheesyCheesy3]

When I have an interview that starts in 5 minutes ago

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

A Smiling Friends character who wears the hood because he’s self-conscious and doesn’t understand why it upsets people but Charlie and Pim convince him to accept himself so he removes it and it turns out he’s wearing blackface.

[last evil woman alive @arriarrio]

wait fall actually started IMMEDIATELY 😭😭

[Boston Globe Pitchbot @BostonSatire]

Bar Rescue

Jon Taffer visits a failing Western Mass. lesbian bar and discovers the problem isn’t the drinks—it’s the KN95 mandate, the 442-comment thread controversy, the restorative-justice meeting, and struggle sessions between rounds.

Shut the place down?

[Jaron Zhou @ZhouJaron]

This legitimately reads like a parody of what people think too woke is like.

[jonny @suitejonny]

genuinely one of the most formative, load-bearing texts of our time

[Deva Hazarika @devahaz]

Learn something new every day

[chaos robot 🤖 @deestiv]

bringing a full crab boil to a job interview to differentiate myself and make my interview memorable

[Chris Murphy @christress]

Bringing an iced coffee with wet hair to a western Massachusetts lesbian bar on no mask night to discuss the perils school choice

[Keith Acouplabeers @acouplabeers]

I’m making 80k in the $80 full tank, $2500 apartment, $18 chipotle burrito era

[Socialist With SE Asian Diaspora Characteristics @diaspora_red]

All the other Kirks with the pumped up Kirks better run faster than that bullet

[✩⋆.ೃ࿔°𝄞 سماء °｡✫彡♪𓇢𓆸 ｡･:*:･ﾟ @skyicidal]

pretty little liars if it was set in atlanta:

[Vivian @suchnerve]

Y’all ever think about how the phenomenon of morning wood means humanity has been doing a nonstop global boner wave

[Covie @covie_93]

Diesel was so cheap under Biden truckers could drive from all over the US to DC to protest Joe.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announces Canada will provide $100 million in aid for Palestine — $80 million of that going towards humanitarian aid and $20 million for security capacity.

[g. @GeauxGabrielle]

Colin Kaepernick’s new book has some NASTY observations and accusations against Jay Z. That Jigga and his higher ups called the Black Panther Party a “hate group” to his face and that they were putting hit pieces out on him while Jigga was wearing his jersey on stage for performances.

[BRYN_BORANGA @BRYN_BORANGA]

still blows my mind that Sheeran's visuals crew thought the best backdrop for a crying ginger man would be magenta