G

I want to go to all of the concerts
I'm a basic bitch but I like to pretend I'm not a basic bitch

[ALISON WONDERLAND @awonderland]

Bitch

Fuck

Shit

Cunt

[Woodward Sports Network @woodwardsports]

ONE WIN AWAY FROM PLAYING IN A SUPER BOWL 🦁

#AllGrit

🎥 : @ccprodzofficial & @MattSlaughter94

[Ari Drennen @AriDrennen]

The crowd that melts down over pronouns is now demanding that we respect their preferred adjectives

[Pastor Ben @BenjaminPDixon]

Say it with your chest.

[G @gnc_4]

@monochr_homo Ratio is even worse now. I wish they could all be satire

[worms cited @christapeterso]

the ads in replies thing is MADDENING

[ru @iambuterastann]

i miss when celebs were genuinely active on twitter like they just tweet anything that comes on mind 😭

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

If we made the police academy a 4-year program I bet we'd get rid of a lot of the "bad apples." I don't understand how a lawyer has to go to school for 8 years to understand the law enough to practice it, but it only takes 6 months to learn it enough to enforce it.

[G @gnc_4]

@lindsayysan Your brother Chris has a doppelganger Chris 😅

[Chris Distefano @chrisdcomedy]

Found this pic today 😂. What do I look like? Chrissy Captions - Best comment wins a pair of Ticky Wickys to a show. Phoenix, Cleveland, Stamford, Austin, Vancouver BC and more. https://t.co/wYV94pV19I

[G @gnc_4]

This actually happened to me and my roommate. I got our random assigned 3rd roommate on recording, saying she was going to throw us down the stairs and claim we tripped.. and they told us WE would have to move out and nothing else could be done 🙃

[… @Dreadful4Tymes]

Police be like “I see clear evidence you’re being harassed and stalked but we can’t do shit until the person actually attempts to kill you so wait for that and if you survive give us a call”

[Uncle Ari @MazeDaMouth]

I have never come back from any holiday feeling relaxed, refreshed & reinvigorated to get back into work.

I come back with the taste of freedom, still fresh in my mouth, a renewed hatred for work, and a strong suspicion that this is not what I should be spending my life doing.

[G @gnc_4]

Noodle 💔💔 15/10 forever bones

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Noodle. He has been a constant source of joy for millions, by sharing his prediction for the day in the form of “bones, or no bones?” Yesterday, Noodle passed away peacefully at the age of 14. He was so loved by so many. It will now and forever be… a bones day. 15/10

[MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch]

Play this on loop 24/7

[Emily Finch @DrEmilyFinch]

Ok folks. It’s time we talked about eels.

I’m a geologist but I recently learnt about eels and… wow.

Since then, I’ve been greeting strangers with ‘DO YOU KNOW ABOUT EELS?!’

Well, consider yourself a stranger in my path.

Strap in. It’s a 🧵

1/so many

[Andrew—#IAmTheResistance @AmoneyResists]

Dear women: 96% of Republicans voted against your legal right to have access to contraceptives and want to pass a national abortion ban. The midterms are in 23 days.

[michael mezz @michaelmezz]

listen to her explain the Van Gogh soup protest.

she’s got a point, no?

[G @gnc_4]

Strange how I am not in fact surprised at all.

[Mac @GoodPoliticGuy]

lmao.

[Khai @ThamKhaiMeng]

This is genius. Italian singer Adriano Celentano released a song in the 70s with nonsensical lyrics meant to sound like American English—to prove that Italians would just love any American song. And it was a hit.