carlos

just a little guy

[🐝 Bee 🐝 @SavinTheBees]

Oh I know he had you SCREAMING

[turbomander @turbomander]

told my doc there was something wrong with me because I couldnt stop thinking about animated sitcoms. she asked me “what are the symptoms?” and i told her homer marge bart maggie lisa

[SpongeBob SquarePants @RealSponger]

They tried to get me yesterday

[carlos @gobgoble]

@dirkesque D:

[US Chemical Safety & Hazard Nonaffiliate @sexualprisoner]

Emerges from my chrysalis, sticky and resplendent

[stack of chairs @stackofbears]

The squirrel has no well-founded reason to run from me, but it does. The robin, too, takes flight if I just amble by. Yet here foolhardy waits the burger, beneath my growing shadow

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

[driving]
my astigmatism shows me the light of angels in every street lamp and headlight.

*sees your red brake lights ahead of me* but the Devil remains nearby,

*starts to speed up* I am the Sword of God

[crust bucket @eeeosburn]

If ur not drinking 13 beers with me I can only assume ur drinking 13 beers against me

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

having my head blown “smoove off” as we speak

[Yunie ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა @Hyeyunie]

I have to lock in this week or else they're going to take me

[浅野いにお/Inio Asano @asano_inio]

たなばた晴れた。

[carlos @gobgoble]

Are y'all on fumble or cringe?

[HB ✧ @Heartbreak_Juan]

That's why he's the goat

[Theonewhocums @Theonewhocums_]

"Come on bro, sit on me. Just sit on me bro, it'll be normal. I'm just a normal chair bro, please... I need to... feel you" - this chair