Robert Heywood

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@Brucey1 @BeaumontSchStA 1997, we were in Lower Sixth and I played Ruben, the eldest brother 🎭

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

And the wait for a World Cup finals win goes on #Lionesses #womensWorldCup2023

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@RickyPerks @batemanjason @arnettwill @SeanHayes Yeah and not in a creepy way either. We’re just two stand-up dudes keen to be your best friends just as soon as you’re ready 👍 #bffs

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@RickyPerks @batemanjason This is an absolute must-watch!!!

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@RickyPerks I did think of tagging you in it 😂

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

How do you say you’re middle class without saying you’re middle class #shoppinglisthistory #middleclassgoals

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@watsoncomedian @RickyPerks there is still hope for us!! #jaiunechat

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

Everyone stop panicking, I’ve got to the bottom of the Cost of Living crisis. The self-scanning till at my local supermarket kept duplicating my items. Explains why grocery bills have been higher recently. Faulty scanners are the root cause #CostOfLivingCrisis #Problemsolved

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

Just reading about @jacindaardern stepping down as NZ PM and I’m gutted. I was really hoping we could persuade her to come over here to be our PM and sort our lot out but now that looks like it’s off the cards #JacindaAdern #jacindaforUKPM

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@mrdanwalker I think it’s a shameful indictment of our society that this is even a story. Can we not just get a grip and focus on our many bigger problems!! #whyisthisastory

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@Brucey1 @lemontwittor That’s insane!! It’s all one toobs apparently

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

If trifle has fresh strawberries and blueberries in, does it count as 1 of your 5 a day and is therefore acceptable to have for breakfast? #AskingForAFriend #festiveseason

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

Pretty sure I say this every year but next year’s Christmas presents will be based solely on how easily they can be wrapped!!

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

Not sure what’s more English. The fact I think it’s highly inconsiderate that the person opposite me on the train is having a Teams meeting; or the fact I won’t say or do anything about it!! #englishproblems

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@RickyPerks The “Britains Greatest Dinner Lady” comment has killed me 😂😂😂

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

So all that rain we didn’t get in the summer, we’re now getting in November #rainydays

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

Just reflecting on the chaos that the Just Stop Oil protests caused last week, and my highlight was Thursday morning seeing a roofing contractor getting a police escort along the M25 to help remove the protestors #notallheroeswearcapes

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

@RickyPerks 😂😂

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

Some pretty concrete facts there… I mean, I’m sold!! #MidtermElections

[Robert Heywood @godinmanform]

So yesterday I moved out all the mess from the flowerbed and made two piles of mess on the lawn!! #Productivity