godsquatter

Potatoes. You know them. You love them. You can’t imagine life without them. And that’s how they like it. Read the book & unearth the truth:

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@NfTatoes Don’t know what you’re on about but I’m diggin it. Much like a potato.

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

2020 - @BuzzFeed, purveyor of personality evaluation tools like Monica vs Rachel and Which #savedbythebell character are you, leaves professional psychologists sobbing in its wake as it achieves peak scientific perfection: What Kind of Potato Are You?

https://t.co/UteayYNHjq

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

2020 - While the world was distracted by #COVID #murderhornets #bushfires #riots #elections #KobeBryant #Brexit #Cats and #toiletpaper, everyone missed the REAL news as a French kitchen became ground zero for the #invasion. https://t.co/4tS6r3hGVi

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

2021 - @Hasbro announces that #MrPotatoHead will be going gender neutral, much akin to real #potatoes. Also #turnips. https://t.co/rtVUXe1RRg

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

1976 - #Shortselling, #marketmanipulation, #billionaires screwing everyone? No, it's not the #Reddit #Gamestop fiasco, it's the Maine #Potato War, which devastated markets and forced investors to focus on far less corruptible (wink wink) oil and petroleum.
https://t.co/OoyKXsylLl

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

2021 - Godsquatter gains its 42nd Twitter follower in @MaxymReva :) If you love #potatoes, and you know the significance of #42, then you'll feel right at home here. And if you don't get the 42 thing, that's ok, we still have potatoes.

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

1998 - In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it line in #Bongwater, @jackblack confesses his undying love for a baked #potato, leaving one to wonder how this particular potato weaseled its way into Jack’s cold heart, and was it all some elaborate #catfishing scheme?

https://t.co/coB9QMJY7d

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@Peter_Mugridge @Tesco @DadJokeMan

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@VXcherryy

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@humblepotato Enjoyed some of your brilliant fries last week while celebrating the release of my potato-themed sci-fi book (seemed appropriate). Had no idea you had such an awesome patio. Can’t wait to try it out!

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

1500s - In its quest for global domination, the #potato migrates from the Incan empire to #Europe. By resisting frost, fighting #scurvy and making far better #Frenchfries than do beets, #potatoes quickly overshadow pewter dishware and codpieces alike in the hearts of Europeans.

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@humblepotato Wowzers! Which location is this?

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

2021 - The true plots of our underground overlords are revealed in the tell-all book Godsquatter, which follows 3 fast-food workers & a grandmother as they unearth the greatest conspiracy of all time. Find it on Amazon: https://t.co/pWMFiO4MNn

#potatopower #potatoes #potato

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@BigIdahoPotato Not all heroes wear capes. #TaterTeam

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@ToppyEton Then why be decent?

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@WhoIe_wheat Trick question. ALL versions of potato are best version of potato.

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

1943 - The crew of Japanese submarine Ro-34 is unable to reach their deck guns due to a relentless barrage of grenades hurled by the nearby USS O’Bannon. However, the O’Bannon had no grenades – what they were actually throwing was a stockpile of heroic potatoes.

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

2021 - After far too many months of chaos and confusion, sanity finally returns to the nation as cooler heads prevail and hope returns. That’s right, potatoes are coming back to @tacobell.

https://t.co/wyOHii3WvD

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@rhona_o @jtattshotmailc1 If you eat it, it lives forever.

[godsquatter @godsquatter]

@HotSodax This means something. This is important.