Mr. Perfect

the bird app

[slink @slinkout]

Enzo forgetting he's back at Chelsea after a month with Argentina

[Mr. Perfect @gokusippinlean]

i watch the angels then my day gets ruined

[christian @nopoweradeinusa]

sick of women telling me how they have it harder then men, umm sorry sweetie but we haven't had a good halo game in 19 years

[MetroCZ @MetroCz]

people hate "gun and ball" gamers but do you have the guts to hate on "interactive movie passed as game" gamers?

[mao_wow @realwow_mao]

when you ordering pizza and the broke homie say “get some wings too”

[roy #freeshine @notdrained]

im just too niche for a girlfriend

[Buckaroo 🕯✊🏻 @buckthebigguy77]

Its wild how in the OG game Chief was so intimidating and awe inspiring to the marines they never dared speak up to him but now we have "turbo dyke mcgee strong woman" to interject every 2 seconds about how toxic master chief is

[Seva @SevaUT]

maturity is realizing the third beer brings diminishing returns

[Circe @vocalcry]

6 hr international flight: here are five meals and 500 movies to watch

6 hr domestic flight: sorry there’s turbulence so we can’t do water service, we actually don’t serve food, and also there are no TVs 😀

[MegaCasuals @themegacasual]

I dare Maxx Crosby to have 1 bad game

[Matt Stahl @mattstahl97]

please tell me we're not going to have an nfl coach herbstreiting a dog around all season because he's in pr trouble, we have to start being adults about this

[Janty @CFC_Janty]

This only works for CR7 and R9 man, this sounds like a promo code for Uber Eats

[miles @milesdotgov]

Climbed the 10,000 steps of enlightenment to the monastery, so as to ask the wise master a question about the functioning of the universe, and he told me “focus on yourself lil bro” and then counted out fifteen racks in front of me

[Raghav @rxgv9]

Chelsea academy

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

Hey this is my homie who makes sure the dentist doesn’t touch me gay style when I’m knocked out by the gas and my other homie who watches him for the same reason

[JACOB EVERETT @blauer_geist]

A customer, an elderly gentleman, asked me if I was “keeping it under control.” He continued, “It can be tough to keep it under control some days.”

[anto ★ ★ @k10mbp]

Serie A so bad nobody is larping Italian teams