my boyfriend and i go to Taco Bell. what do you want i ask him. a baja blast? no. he gets down on one knee. i want something that will baja last. will you marry me? they ring the taco bell. we live happily ever after mas.
I love how you go to the dentist and they’re like “you really need to be brushing with a sonicare” and then you leave and they hand you a toothbrush that is so stiff it would shred your gums and should only be used for cleaning the bathroom grout
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and let out a blood-curdling scream while curling up in a fetal position on the buffet
you ever start reading a book and you’re super into it because the plot’s really good but then all the sudden it’s not so good and then you don’t read again for like 6 months? happens to me like twice a year.
I just tried to wipe the toothpaste drips off my pajama shirt but they’re dry so that means it’s yesterday’s toothpaste yes that’s right I’m a sex symbol