Katie

Bio, bio, biodegradable.

[Katie @good_one_rick]

[Prison riot]

*me in the background, ladling prison wine from my toilet*

Might I offer you some refreshment for your battle, my good madam

[Katie @good_one_rick]

@AlphaBR0megah 😂😂😂

[Katie @good_one_rick]

The Von Trapp kids had a shockingly large puppet budget

[Katie @good_one_rick]

@AlphaBR0megah Same!

[madimoiselle ♡ @drivingmemadi]

my boyfriend and i go to Taco Bell. what do you want i ask him. a baja blast? no. he gets down on one knee. i want something that will baja last. will you marry me? they ring the taco bell. we live happily ever after mas.

[Robyn 🏳️‍⚧️ @RecklessBehavi5]

If I yell "Regulators" y'all better yell back "Mount up"

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

guy about to invent pillow: i need something soft to fill it with

his friend who recently got attacked by a goose: i have an idea

[Katie @good_one_rick]

You ever wake up in the morning and your brain is all “oh hello, I’ve decided today is going to be an anxiety day welp see you out there” THE best

[🦋Lænį Røšę  @parilani]

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY FISHNETS ARE SEXY.

[Katie @good_one_rick]

I love how you go to the dentist and they’re like “you really need to be brushing with a sonicare” and then you leave and they hand you a toothbrush that is so stiff it would shred your gums and should only be used for cleaning the bathroom grout

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and let out a blood-curdling scream while curling up in a fetal position on the buffet

[Katie @good_one_rick]

@ankles_so_weak I know!! 😂

[Katie @good_one_rick]

you ever start reading a book and you’re super into it because the plot’s really good but then all the sudden it’s not so good and then you don’t read again for like 6 months? happens to me like twice a year.

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

me: the CDC said I'm not supposed to touch my face

cashier: so why are you touching mine

me: they didn't say anything about that

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

I just tried to wipe the toothpaste drips off my pajama shirt but they’re dry so that means it’s yesterday’s toothpaste yes that’s right I’m a sex symbol

[Art, from online @milkeggsbread]

My boss just said "irregardless" during our team meeting. He's a good man but now I question his leadership.

[cat @WinningByARose]

Anyone had the urge to shave their head yet?

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

I hand you a small, printed card: I am less upset than I appear to be. This is manipulation. Recognize it.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

If you eat raw pizza dough, a block of cheese, and drink some boiling hot marinara sauce, you can make a lil’ pizza in your tummy