my cat's favorite

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@MollyPrewett7 @jk_rowling You are a wonderful human Molly!! LET ME LIVE IN YOUR BASEMENT

[MoonPie @MoonPie]

Does anyone know photoshop I need a picture of a MoonPie fighting the sun

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@chrissyteigen Legit thought you were holding a chipotle burrito. Bless.

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@woodsie_tv You stop this.

[alex @acertainromnce]

@markhoppus

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@EPAScottPruitt @POTUS @EPA Disgusting

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@JoshuaJAdams @markhoppus :lips on mic: My fellow Americans...

[KFC @kfc]

Nothing to see here, folks. Nope, nothin’ at all. Just the same old Colonel with a new flavor of fried chicken.

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@markhoppus

[MoonPie @MoonPie]

I didn’t have a choice guys I’m so sorry https://t.co/UC7AAf4ORA

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@MichaelLopriore @AaronChewning Move over, Seth Rogen!

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

[the year 2021]
SECRETARY OF STATE MARTHA STEWART: the Russians have invaded Europe and the Chinese have launched an offensive on the Korean Peninsula
PRESIDENT OPRAH: I have no choice. God forgive me. *points to map* YOU GET A BOMB AND YOU GET A BOMB AND YOU GET A BOMB AND YOU G

[Bryan Cranston @BryanCranston]

Thank you @realDonaldTrump for preventing US commercial airlines from crashing in 2017. Your active participation monitoring the flight patterns and safety regulations was greatly appreciated. In 2018 could you please turn your efforts toward preventing wildfires and hurricanes? https://t.co/yYq49PzZpX

[Captain Mark Kelly @CaptMarkKelly]

As a pilot in the @USNavy, I was trained to deliver nuclear weapons. EVERYTHING we did with these weapons was deadly serious. No jokes, no threats, no mistakes. Every soldier, sailor, airman and marine gets that. Feel free to reach out if you’d like to discuss this further. https://t.co/ovNlgNlluq

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@Wahlid @Zachpiona MAKE THE PENISES KISS

[John Mayer @JohnMayer]

Twitter is kinder than usual this week because it’s hard to be a hater when you’re sleeping at your parents house under their weird blankets.

[MoonPie @MoonPie]

Treat her with love and respect you took a vow John https://t.co/oTUmC2lKCY

[Beth McColl @imbethmccoll]

if you're having a shitty time with your mental health and are low functioning i feel u & sympathise. here's a list of potential actions for u to take to feel better/exist through it. try to pick a few & do them, but if you can't : that's valid too. let's go

[my cat's favorite @gowithpeas]

@markhoppus SO GOOD