G

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“I’m so full, I feel ill, absolutely stuffed, I can’t move, I might burst, I need a lie down”
“More food?”
“Go on then”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?”

“I’ve got a few bits” - Translation: I bought myself some clothes and festive snacks.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Typing “kind regards”, pausing for a moment to consider just how livid you are… and then savagely deleting the “kind”.

[Jimmy Carr @jimmycarr]

Brutal news about Sean Lock today.
I loved him. I’m watching clips of him right now - laughing & crying. I’ll miss him so much.

[British Bake Off @BritishBakeOff]

Resistance is useless. 🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫 #GBBO

[G @gracejess888]

Online shopping is too easy. Need to stop #nofunds

[G @gracejess888]

When you can't help talking over the programme you're watching but get "the look" so hold in your commentary to the advertisements. Why am I like this 🙃

[G @gracejess888]

Looking forward to the bars opening again this weekend. 🍻 Won't be going unfortunately but hoping my social media starts to become more entertaining again 😂 #sociallifethroughsocialmedia #blindtwitcher

[Deborah Haynes @haynesdeborah]

Thank you for the lovely comments after my son’s impromptu appearance mid-live-broadcast. I can confirm that his high-stakes negotiating skills netted him two chocolate digestives

[G @gracejess888]

Walked quietly upstairs listening to my daughter singing today, only to discover that she was singing a song about how she has the best mummy in the world #bestfeeling #mummysgirl

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Two-word love stories:

Cancelled plans
Apple crumble
Half day
Chocolate orange
Empty carriage
Staying in
Free bar
Golden retriever
Jacket potato
Beer garden
New socks
Early night
Cheese board
Bank holiday
Pancake day
Lie in
Home time
Ice lolly
Large chips
Water slide
Hot tea

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Being sure to stock up on loads of sweets for Halloween so you have something to eat while hiding in the wardrobe

[G @gracejess888]

@Reverend_Makers @fontainesdublin

[Cassandra. @LoveCass_]

I’m sorry. I don’t think Michael likes Joanna. He just wanted attention 😂 The whipped tweet really had him by the neck. #LoveIsland

[Sasha @sashagahmed]

This is a series you don’t simply watch. This is a series you experience, and what a brutally profound experience it is.
#whentheyseeus

[JJ @McGannJack]

The system isn't broke, it was built this way.

#WhenTheySeeUs #BlackLivesMatter

[G @gracejess888]

Just after getting my phone bill this month and I realise that I need to stop entering the ITV competitions advertised on daytime telly #maternityleaveproblems

[G @gracejess888]

😁 this is my face after my baby slept 7 hours straight last night 😁 #ilovesleep

[Gogglebox Soph @PeteandSophie]

May your weekend be nice and long and started by sitting down with the gogglebox family tonight📺💙 HAPPY GOGGLEBOX FRIDAY!! #gogglebox

[G @gracejess888]

“Look how big you’ve got” was nice to hear when I was 8, not so much now that I am an adult #thingsnottosay