NotCorleone

"One must imagine Sisyphus happy..."
Melomane| Art| Movies| Philosophy

[Rita Kay @Kusaasirarita]

Fun fact: One leg outside the blanket is the official temperature control system.😂😂😂🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🌝🌝🌝

[R(R) @real1800splurge]

somewhere in your 20s or 30s you’ll get the opportunity to rebuild your life after a negative loop. its very important that you see that journey through

[CODE 14 😜🔥 @newto_code_14]

“men stayed up late into the night watching the World Cup, while women watched The Polygamist”

[Maximilian Uriarte @TLCplMax]

Me on the plane watching the movie the guy in front of me is watching with no sound:

[purple🍃✨ @doseofpurple_]

books are so cool because there are NO FUCKING ADS IN THEM

[Iman | ايمان @nana_alaouie]

In hell you are forced to watch Arsenal defend a one goal lead

[Atlético de Madrid @Atleti]

HERE WE GO! Hemos enviado un fax al @FCBarcelona_es con nuestra oferta de traspaso: 4 entradas para el concierto de Bad Bunny de mañana, una suscripción anual al ABC y una bolsa de pipas. Esperamos ansiosos la respuesta para preparar el ‘announce’.

[Mary Kathomi @MaryK2022]

Hi I'm lynet from Komarock I lost my kids date 13 may 2026 please 🙏 who ever see them please call me on these number 0726096432 name ,precious and Zennel

[WARÚHIÚ @kamauwaruhiu]

One of the most misunderstood sayings in the Kikuyu culture is ,"ihìì itithiaga ūthoni " . Simply translated to, never take uncircumcised boys to a dowry ceremony. But the word ihìì in this context means men who are yet to join the council of Kikuyu elders . Nothing a small boy does can anger your in-laws they also have boys . But grown men who dnt know culture and customs can embarass you .
A while back we attended one dowry ceremony and a grown man joined the women In doing "ngemi " 🤣🤣🤣 .

[Rachel Reviews Movies and Theatre @rachel_reviews]

A little weird that a Guy Ritchie movie starring Henry Cavill and Jake Gyllenhaal is coming out next week and nobody is talking about it

[Frank Michael Smith @frankmikesmith]

I really underestimated how much dudes like geography. This might be the most suppressed male interest

[Typical African @Joe__Bassey]

The Vice-Chancellor of the University of Ghana 🇬🇭, Prof. Nana Aba Appiah Amfo, stated that describing African languages or local dialects as “vernacular” is disrespectful and undermines African culture.

[Black @LilithBlack25]

The universe will always meets you at your level of audacity

[O.G™ 🤎 @Omogbolahann_]

"15 secs after locking the door"

Me: Did I lock the door? 🤔

My brain:

[Somoina Kapeen @SomoinaKapeen]

Do not abuse herbs! Use the Mother Herb intentionally nani! Cannabis doesn’t cause psychosis! It amplifies what is WITHIN YOU! Get Your mind in order! Know Thyself! Lack of knowledge of self and lack of awareness is what causes psychosis!

[NotCorleone @gray_smurf]

@MrBeast 👀

[Dr MuVenda @Ndi_Muvenda_]

Dear Microsoft.

Our African names are not spelling errors

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

KRA has refused to let Java House go.

You definitely know Java House.

Me, I first encountered it in 2015 while hunting for an attachment in the streets of Nairobi.

All along, I thought it was a biig college teaching Java coding. With branches in every corner.
Until my boss asked to meet me there.

I rushed thinking the legend had enrolled for classes.
Only for him to order coffee for me.

Since then, it has been my favourite coffee joint.

Buana ushamba iheshimiwe.

Now,

In 2012, the two founders of Java House had made their kill after running the company for 13 straight years since 1999.

It was time to go to the beach. They sold the company to ECP Africa in Mauritius.

There was no capital gains tax in Kenya then. So the boys left with their money KRA free.

Before ECP bought the company, they knew:
- Kenya changes laws very fast.
- If they bought shares directly in Kenya
- And later sold them
- They could face taxes if laws changed

So they got smart. They set up a shell company in Mauritius. Called it Java House Mauritius Limited. This company is the one that bought Java House Kenya.

So we now have:
- ECP Africa (Mauritius) owning
- Java House Mauritius
- Which owns Java House Kenya
Clean stuff.

Time came to cash out.

ECP Africa remembered it was also owned by ECP fund in Washington DC.

And ECP DC had a subsidiary management company in Kenya called ECP Kenya Limited.

They agreed and tasked ECP Kenya to:
- To study Java house and improve the business to make more valuable on behalf of ECP Africa.
- Decide when to sell it
- Find a buyer
- Negotiate the deal

In short, ECP Kenya was managing the entire investment.

As all this was happening, they are unaware of one dangerous sentence chilling quietly in Kenyan tax law.

It reads:
• Any company managed and controlled from Kenya is a Kenyan resident company.

In 2017, ECP Africa sold Java house Mauritius company to a Dubai mogul for $100M.

- About 10B shillings.

Everything happened in Mauritius. No shares moved in Kenya to trigger anything.

• Deal is closed. 0 tax.

Bahati mbaya, KRA caught wind that Java is gone.

KRA immediately embarked on a fault finding mission.
And in 2022, found that:
- The entire transaction was managed from Kenya
- Through ECP Kenya

They invoked the one dangerous sentence. You remember it?

• Any company managed and controlled from Kenya is Kenyan company.

KRA said:
• This deal is Kenyan
• Tax must be paid in Kenya

Tax demanded: 2.5B
ECP Kenya to pay it.

ECP Kenya ran to the tax appeal tribunal. Tribunal sided with KRA.

ECP Kenya ran to the High Court. They judge looked at the case and asked KRA why it behaved like a bitter ex.

KRA responded: My Lord, imagine educating your wife, then akigraduate she leaves you for a man of her class. How would you feel?

Judge akakubali inauma.

ECP wakaambiwa walipe tax.

Case closed.

Lesson.

• Structure your offshore deal properly.

• Or KRA will structure it for you.

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

Trump asked Germany for help. They asked him what 5 plus 4 is. He said 9. The Germans said exactly.