evan

currently being held hostage inside the Menard's in Dundas, Minnesota

[evan @greasyipad]

*tapping flight attendant on the shoulder* “I’m sorry i was peeing and vaping in a bathroom earlier and i missed the drink service 🥺🥺can i just get like 🥺🙏🏼a triple rum and coke please?😔🥺😭”

[sam the normal fan @extramicrowave]

Drake Maye cant focus knowing his Coach is an unfaithful man

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

Chop Robinson called for Roughing the Passer on Patrick Mahomes after forgetting to lay down a pillow before they contacted the ground

[surya @suryamidha]

taking everyone’s drink orders and then coming back with eight guinnesses

[Saurabh Shah @saurabh_shah2]

coding agents have seriously right-shifted the Ballmer peak

[libz @scarydinosaur2]

#nah

[evan @greasyipad]

I am getting so good at these

[nebulica @nebulica]

Can you reverse the spin of this donut?

[evan @greasyipad]

It sucks when youre pooping and someone sits down in the stall next to you. Thanks a lot. Now i have to performatively wipe 🙄

[evan @greasyipad]

Anyone who spends less time than me in the museum doesnt care about ideas and beauty, and everyone who spends longer than me in the museum is pretending to be someone theyre not

[evan @greasyipad]

Airport lounges should only allow people who can solve the riddle

[evan @greasyipad]

@jamestanton ln(2)

[John Palmer @johnpalmer]

i love how spotify thinks the very last thing you'd ever want to do with a song is "view album"

[evan @greasyipad]

Y'all mind if a white boy speaks a little Amish?

[donald boat @laserboat999]

People are so grateful when you can supply them with a print-out. It's nice to hold data in your hands sometimes when most of it is up in the air these days. Let me get some print-outs in your hand brother

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

The fact that 8pm is only 3 hours after 5pm is fucking insane. We have to do something about this

[evan @greasyipad]

dude i could totally see a use case for you...

[some ambient loser @purityolympics]

minneapolis is kind of like the beijing of the midwest

[spencer @spencerhoops_]

Type shit

[bart @soxbart]

Field of dreams implies the existence of a field of nightmares, and I will make it my life’s mission to find and destroy that ballpark

[evan @greasyipad]

Amazing watch. Never seen so many glove explosions in one play #fuck #yankees

[AT @BaseballWRLD_]

Are we dead serious