Greenman

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@craigallen_25 @CliveWardauthor I've been a veteran now for over 35 years.
I get earache for using army speak, and for having a really dark sense of humour.
I was asked the other day what it was that I missed about the army. My answer was nobody speaks my language here and everyone takes offence over anything.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@CliveWardauthor I joined the army when Centurion was a rank, not a tank!😉

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@CliveWardauthor Three times round my red and blue jersey........GO!

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@Posted_to_BAOR I was made to shift Centurion track links from one stack to make an identical stack 10 meters away. This was winter 1965, and the only concession I was given I was allowed to wear my issue wooly gloves which I had to replace. My crime? I Told an arsehole L/cpl he had bad breath

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@CliveWardauthor I was an 18 year old sprog just joined the regiment. I was regaled with tales of adventures in Belize by the sweats. I've never been to, or desired to visit Belize however I remember being told about the hanging shithouses of belize. They must have been an architectural marvel

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@fesshole Do you see where you went wrong there?😂

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@TeamMariaHQ @fesshole What if you had IBSD,or Crones disease.
That's also natural.
However, sufferers thank goodness for a public loo. Bodily functions in the loo at home are a rare luxury.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@CliveWardauthor Tank crew, = no beer.
Sometimes (not often)we had to drive to the railway sidings to put the tanks on the flats.
Worse than that, the tracks on that tank which had served you so faithfully and well...tank threw a track and you were trackbashing for hours in the freezing cold.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@TonyKing38983 Hard boiled egg slicer.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@WydRayaanX You need to add yourself into the total(1)

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@fesshole I think this is absolute bollocks.
However, just for harbouring thoughts like that has earned you the title "Sad Git of the Week".

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@fesshole Well done for that one. There is still some innocence in the world. If I were you I'd find some dog shampoo that has been tested on animals, just be on the safe side.😉

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@akicif @lbsg1976 That post office is closed now.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@SClark51032281 @CliveWardauthor They gave you a day off after guard?
We got a brew and a bacon sandwich if you were quick enough.
Then it was kit on, clean, tidy, boots and beret brushed, first parade followed by a days work on the tank park.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@LandLover56 Dynamo, powers the lights on a bike. Unless of course there is a digital device which relies on a signal, then we're in the dark.🙂

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@CliveWardauthor You're so low, you could do a two step under a snake's belly wearing a top hat!

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@ANILAWHITNEY I do, and I have a silver threepenny bit too.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@donalmurray2002 @fesshole When something like that occurs, right out of the blue, then the GP has got to be the first port of call

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@BigBearF1 A bed that wasn't a sofa.

[Greenman @greenman0447]

@fesshole Could he scratch his ankles without bending down?