chronica lewinsky

don’t mean shiet

[Jonathan Fine @jonathanbfine]

sometimes you can tell from a person’s underlining in a used book that they aren’t going to make it

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

Does anyone else ever stop to think that maybe addiction is so rampant in America because we’ve created an unbearable reality for so many people

[MEHMOONICrave @themehmooni]

Much like Odysseus’ crew my friends often open a bag that blows us off course for many days

[🍃 @cardamomkiss]

I don't like when the hot sauce name is crass... Show some decorum

[ARCHIE @Archibald_SLIM]

Future was too old to be tryin acid for the first time

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

a crackhead just tore out the copper wires in my prosthetic penis

[docter penis @tenthousund]

if i had a vagina i wld not take care of that thing like at all

[semi fungible individual @CyrusOfHearts]

The biggest aesthetic schism imo is between those who find gentle signs of decay soothing and those who do not

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

don't take adderall if you have a chin hair you can't stop fixating on. it's a nightmare. also don't take it if you have a tendency to get addicted to pills

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

they’re taking me behind the shed. presumably to show me the shed’s big fat ass

[Akari 🫧 @lovesickmani]

Melanie’s love island journey

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

You could literally land a plane by yourself after your instructor jumps to his death mid flight and they’d still use a picture of a man

[dolo @doloyeung]

A car passed trailing a string of cans behind it. I looked at the sign on its trunk. "Just ate a lot of soup". I liked it. It made sense. Not like the incoherent "Just Married" you typically saw. I remarked how pleasingly congruent it was to my girlfriend of 15 years. She sighed

[Bodacious Bowling Ball @SpunkityBall]

forgetting i’m shirtless and accidentally hanging my sunglasses in my tracheotomy hole

[Raymond Tucker @RaymondTucker_]

Scary night to be drunk driving. All the rookies are out

[Meggy @igetsoinspired]

I want to be so in love we experiment with gas station pills together

[kelbin @pissboymcgee]

I could see myself peacefully exchanging my kids on the weekend with this woman

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

The smartphone really revolutionized the waiting room. Oh I get 20 minutes to look at my phone? Don’t mind if I do. The only problem is sometimes when I’m looking at my phone at home my home starts to feel like a waiting room and I realize it is and I’m just waiting to die

[🛒 @tayhader]

How watching love island feels like

[tex @texmeplease]

every day i assign my son a 1000 word essay on the airheads mystery flavor and what it means to him