Hank Evans

Huge Cards, Blues, Illini fan

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

John Tudor had twice as many shutouts in 1985 as Max Scherzer has in his entire career. And he didn’t even win the Cy Young Award. Now get off my lawn, you peckerheads.

[TheEight8all  @TheEight8all]

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[Stefan Lehmiller @1Trump_DeSantis]

@JeffEisenband

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

The Fourth of July was invented in 1993 to commemorate Lex Luger body slamming Yokozuna on the deck of the USS Intrepid.

It’s called Independence Day because the brave patriot Luger got the WWF out from under the yoke of the evil Japanese world champion.

[Dudes Posting Their W’s @DudespostingWs]

A Red Sox fan gave a baseball to a little Yankees fan. She gave him a hug in return as a thank you.

[TheEight8all  @TheEight8all]

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[TheEight8all  @TheEight8all]

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[John Mehaffey @John_Mehaffey]

We surveyed much of the Center Strip today. We have not dealt with such rude people on the sidewalks and in the casinos since covid. This was worse because there are 4x more of them. It was so bad we didn't do our usual cheap drink ending at Casino Royale. We just wanted out.

[Jeremy Werner @JWerner247]

NEWS: Tom Michael is rejoining the #illini athletic department after 12 years as Eastern Illinois athletic director

Per a press release, Michael will serve as the second-highest ranking administrative officer for the DIA with a role in campus, Big Ten, and NCAA governance.

[Jason Bacon @beerundbacon]

An elementary school teacher asked her students to share what their father's do for a living.

One kid said, "My dad is a stripper at a gay nightclub and he turns tricks in the alley for extra cash."

After class, the teacher asked, "Does your dad really do that?"

"No, he used to work for Joe Biden but I was too embarrassed to say that."

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

After a hard day at the office there’s nothing like pouring a nice whisky in your Grimace glass and reflecting upon where your life went wrong.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Mamdani Orders Visiting Teams To Redistribute Some Of Their Runs To The Mets https://t.co/uQDijWsxV0

[Clay Travis @ClayTravis]

The Mets are 0-11 since Mr. and
Mrs. Met hugged Mamdani.

[Jason Bacon @beerundbacon]

A cowboy walked into a bar and there was a robot bartender.

The robot asked, "What will you have?"

The cowboy said, "A beer."

The robot handed the cowboy the coldest beer he's ever had and asked, "What's your IQ?"

The cowboy said, "168."

The robot then proceeded to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The cowboy left, but he was curious, so he went back into the bar.

The robot bartender asked, "What will you have?"

The cowboy said, "A beer."

Again, the robot brought him the coldest beer he's ever had and asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The cowboy said, "100."

The robot then started to talk about NASCAR, dirt bikes, and electric scooters.

The cowboy left but found it all very interesting, so he went back to try it one more time.

Again the robot asked, "What will you have?"

The cowboy said, "A beer,"

Again the robot brought him the coldest beer he's ever had and asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The cowboy said, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leaned in real close and said very slowly, "So, are you people still happy you voted for Joe Biden?”

[Gerry DeFilippo @Challenger_ST]

Baseball parents driving to work early for an over time shift just so they can take their kid who can’t hit the ball out of the infield to Dicks to buy a $409 baseball bat

[Wes C @WesClements22]

Plan is to add a new stat for players. Yards without dribbling. YWD @NBA

[Wes Reynolds @WesReynolds1]

Kendall Gill is right on here.

Now the Illini weren’t exactly cleaner than the board of health back then, but Pearl was a rat for this as well.

There’s a reason Jimmy Collins would never shake his hand after UIC-Milwaukee games.

[104.3 The Score @thescorechicago]

.@KendallG13 still holds "extreme dislike" for Bruce Pearl to this day.

"Some guys are just slimeballs in life, that’s what they are," Gill says of Pearl. "That's the way I feel about that guy."

[Swan @AndySwan]

POV: It's the first Thursday of March Madness and your social studies teacher is a legend.

[Derek Parris @DerekParris]

It was one of the worst kept secrets out there but it still needs to be addressed.

Sean Lee tore his ACL, MCL & had a PCL strain 6 months ago.

Instead of surgery ending his senior season, he played every game & helped MacArthur win a sectional for the 1st time in school history