@HackersWindow

golf & weather real-time forecasting

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

TAXI!!!! 🚕

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

Bryson DeChambeau barely tapped this putt and watch how far it rolled 😳

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

#puremichigan has elite #grass

That certainly pops off the page

[Clarknado @Clarknadeaux]

@hackers_window

[Rear Admiral @RearAdBsBlog]

How fucking awesome would it be to bust ass like this in front of the boys?

Laughs for days.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

#TAXI 🚕!!!!

[NBS Golf @GolfNBS]

The worst put you will ever set your eyes on 💀

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Came down just before the #rain started

💪 #weather guy

[7News DC @7NewsDC]

The man who scaled and spent several days atop the Frederick Douglass Memorial Bridge in D.C. finally came down on Wednesday morning, days after he said he ran out of water. The man, who identified himself on social media as Guido Reichstadter, had been on the bridge since Friday, May 1.

More: https://t.co/ZekQbX69xB

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Way to go Pete! #leadership

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am the Senior Vice President of Human Resources at Oracle Corporation.

Last Tuesday, I sent an email to 30,000 people at 6 AM.

Yesterday morning, I onboarded 1 person at $950,000 a year.

Both were my responsibility. Both were executed flawlessly.

The email said: "After careful consideration of Oracle's current business needs, we have made the decision to eliminate your role as part of a broader organizational change. As a result, today is your last working day."

I signed it "Oracle Leadership." Not my name. Not the co-CEOs' names. Not anyone's name. Leadership. Leadership is a signature that cannot be fired.

At 6:01 AM, our infrastructure team disabled 30,000 badges. Revoked 30,000 VPN tokens. Locked 30,000 laptops. Wiped 30,000 voicemails. Suspended 30,000 email accounts. By 6:04 AM, 30,000 people were staring at a login screen that would never accept their password again. The email reminded them they were "prohibited from downloading, copying, or retaining any Oracle confidential information."

3 people called the HR hotline before 6:15. 2 asked if the email was real. 1 asked if she could retrieve a photo of her daughter from her desktop. I directed all 3 to the separation portal.

That's data security.

I've managed 11 separation events. This was the cleanest. 30,000 endpoints terminated in under 4 minutes. I sent the email from a template in PeopleSoft called TERM_MASS_COMM_v4. The v4 is important. Version 1 had a paragraph that said "we value your contributions." Version 2 shortened it to a sentence. Version 3 shortened it to "thank you." Version 4 removed it entirely. Legal flagged it in 2024. You cannot say you valued something you are discarding at 6 AM. Liability exposure.

That's risk management.

The co-CEOs approved the plan in 11 minutes. I timed it. I always time approvals. Clay Magouyrk and Mike Sicilia. They received $250 million and $100 million in stock option grants when they took the roles in September. They asked about the WARN Act filing timeline. They asked about the restructuring charge projection. They did not ask how the employees would be notified. They did not ask when.

That's executive alignment.

In January, TD Cowen published an analyst note. It said cutting 20,000 to 30,000 employees would generate $8 to $10 billion in incremental free cash flow. We needed that cash. Our AI data center capital expenditures are projected at $50 billion this fiscal year. We had a $20 billion shortfall.

The 30,000 people were the shortfall.

I don't call it that in the board deck. Slide 14 has a waterfall chart. The left column is labeled "Current Headcount Cost." The right column is labeled "Redeployable Capital." The 30,000 people are the bridge between the 2 columns. They are a blue arrow. Calibri 11pt.

That's strategic planning.

1 day before the email, on Monday, our 5-year credit default swaps hit 198.6 basis points. That is the highest level in Oracle's history. Higher than December 2008. Higher than the financial crisis itself. The market is pricing our debt at levels not seen since Lehman Brothers still had a lobby. We carry $124.7 billion in debt on the books. We added $39 billion in 9 months. Our trailing free cash flow is negative $24.74 billion.

I included this in the board deck on slide 3. Nobody discusses slide 3. Slide 3 is where we put the things that are true.

That's transparency.

By Thursday, the H-1B data reached the press. 3,126 petitions. We filed them while scheduling the separation event. Same department. Same quarter. Same PeopleSoft instance. The termination workflow is TERM_MASS_COMM_v4. The visa sponsorship workflow is ONBOARD_H1B_STD. They share a database. They share a help desk queue. They share a budget line.

1 workflow removes 30,000 people who built the cloud infrastructure. The other sponsors 3,000 replacements to continue building it. I manage both workflows from the same standing desk.

That's human resources.

An employee posted on Blind that it was "a slap in the face." I know which employee. We have analytics on Blind. Sentiment tracking, attribution modeling, post velocity. His post received 4,200 upvotes in 12 hours. I flagged it for Corporate Communications. Communications sent me a thumbs-up emoji. Nobody drafted a response.

That's stakeholder management.

Yesterday morning, Hilary Maxson started as our new Chief Financial Officer. Base salary: $950,000. Annual performance bonus target: $2.5 million. Equity package: $26 million — $20.8 million time-based, $5.2 million performance-based, vesting over 4 years. We are also covering up to $250,000 in relocation expenses. Her offer letter is 7 pages. The separation notice I sent 30,000 people is 4 paragraphs.

I managed both documents. The compensation committee approved her package on the same call where we reviewed the $2.1 billion restructuring charge. We have recorded $982 million of that charge so far. That is what 30,000 people cost on a balance sheet. The CFO's equity package is 1.2% of the restructuring line. A rounding error. No — less than a rounding error. A rounding error's rounding error.

That's market-competitive compensation.

Our Slack user count dropped from 165,000 to 155,000 in a single day. If you have access to the admin panel, you can watch the number fall in real time. I have access. It drops fast between 6:04 and 6:11 AM. Then it slows. Stragglers. People who hadn't opened their laptops yet. People in Pacific Time who were still sleeping when their career ended. By 7:00 AM, the line flattens. I watched it from my standing desk with a coffee. The line goes down smoothly. No bumps. No steps. Just a slope.

That's attrition analytics.

In Kansas City, I filed WARN notices for 539 people. 85 software developers. 43 systems analysts. 39 program managers. In Washington, 491 people. 270 software developers. 46 development managers. These are the people who built Oracle Cloud Infrastructure. We are now spending $50 billion to expand it with different people on ONBOARD_H1B_STD.

The WARN filing lists the separation date as June 1. The email said today is their last working day. The badge stopped working at 6:01 AM. 3 different dates for the same event.

That's compliance.

12,000 of the 30,000 were in India. Bangalore. Hyderabad. Pune. India does not require WARN notices. This is not why 12,000 of them were in India. But it is why nobody has to file anything.

That's jurisdictional planning.

The quarterly earnings call was March 10. 21 days before the email. The co-CEOs announced $553 billion in remaining performance obligations. They said demand for AI infrastructure "continues to exceed supply." The analysts upgraded their estimates. The stock is down 57% from its peak. It was $326 in September. It is $146 today. Larry Ellison's net worth is $188.7 billion. He has not made a public statement about the layoffs.

He has not been asked to.

That's governance.

Trust in the Q4 engagement survey dropped 34 points. I reported it under "Culture Health Metrics." My manager said the numbers were "expected for a rebalancing of this scale." She told me to revisit it next quarter.

I will revisit it next quarter. By then the Slack count will have stabilized. The Blind posts will have cycled off the front page. The ONBOARD_H1B_STD workflows will have completed. The new CFO will have her equity vesting schedule configured in PeopleSoft. And the 30,000 will be on LinkedIn, adding "open to work" above the Oracle logo they can no longer access.

I will be here. At my standing desk. Managing the workflows.

30,000 separation emails sent at 6:00 AM. 3,126 H-1B petitions filed the same quarter. $26 million in equity for the new CFO. $350 million in stock options for the 2 co-CEOs. $188.7 billion in personal wealth for the chairman. $124.7 billion in corporate debt. 198.6 basis points on the credit default swaps — higher than 2008. Negative $24.74 billion in free cash flow. $50 billion in AI capital expenditure.

1 PeopleSoft instance. 2 workflows. Same server.

TERM_MASS_COMM_v4 and ONBOARD_H1B_STD share a database.

That's human resources.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Doesn’t look gr8 for #golf ⛳️

Pretty #boring place, no need to visit

[Physics & Astronomy Zone @zone_astronomy]

The highest quality video of the moon was just released… this is so beautiful.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Good vantage point to watch a 🌪️ come through, not 🏀

[Owen @Riverboat_Ross]

I’ve dreamed my entire life about watching a Final 4 live! I just got here and got to my seat, and based on the view I’ll have to keep dreaming. I can’t see shit up here

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

#nerd 🚨!!

Would be way cooler as a #golf ⛳️ course @LEGO_Group

[Enezator @Enezator]

This LEGO build cost him 200K and two marriages, but it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. 😳

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

#golf pretty easy, not hard at all

Thanks for taking my #call ☎️

[𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 @Matt_Pinner]

This is hard

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Good information everyone - #safety first

#losers

[Metro Forward @wmata]

As the storm winds down, we want to thank our dedicated team – including those who spent the afternoon monitoring the weather in our Emergency Operations Center.

With a systemwide view, we use advanced technology to make real-time, informed decisions about service and safety.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

@Titleist ProV1s….free #balls for life

[Rafa Alpha @RafaAlphaX]

Te dan 2 millones de dólares.

Tienes 20 minutos para gastarlos o desaparecen.

No puedes comprar coches, aviones, yates ni casas.
Tampoco oro ni diamantes.

¿Qué comprarías?

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

100%. If you can learn #golf ⛳️ on @YouTube anything is possible

[Dan @dmbkparker]

Do you think if I put you in a helicopter you could successfully takeoff and land? No instruction. You can watch as many YouTube videos as you want before we go.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

#EF5 🌪️

[LadyValor @lady_valor_07]

What would you name this dog

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Accurate #weather forecast for once. Just 1 time.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Will my #dog be there for me when I’m 12 over at the turn ⛳️ ?

[Emily 🦋 @EmilySm43]

Be honest

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

“Cannot lose something you never possessed”

-Aristotle

[Baltimore/DC Weather Updates @btimoreupdates]

People are really gonna lose trust in us a lot after today.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Yes you can absolutely win: follow @hackers_window for real #weather

[Martin Austermuhle @maustermuhle]

Cue people complaining that D.C. totally overreacted. (The same people, I would note, that would likely criticize the city had schools decided to dismiss at the normal time.) You just can't win with weather here.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Another botched #forecast….enough is enough. Time to look in the #mirror 🪞 fellas

[Capital Weather @capitalweather]

3:35 pm: The tornado watch set to run until 7p was cancelled early. Risk of tornadoes much diminished after midday showers/storms.

Not impossible another watch comes later, and not entirely out of the woods until a front passes.

Damaging wind gusts may accompany front late evening. Still have to watch for some atmospheric spin, too. HRRR simulated radar snapshot at 9p shown.

[@HackersWindow @hackers_window]

Come watch me play 18….it gets way worse

[AlphaFox @alphafox]

The longer you watch, the worse it gets. 🤮