Matt Halcomb

Strange words come on out of a grown man's mouth when his mind's broke.

[We Used to Be a Proper Country @Mzandthropic]

@jimgeraghty How much time is left in extra time?

[Jim Geraghty @jimgeraghty]

"But a goal will not count if a player is offsides."

"When is a player offsides?"

"Whenever anything exciting happens."

[CFO, Big Cat Corp @VPBigCatCorp_]

My wife riding shotgun when she sees brake lights a quarter mile ahead

[Matt Halcomb @halcombisland]

@AryanBundles 🤡

[Matt Halcomb @halcombisland]

@Owennfa The same boomer is also complaining that they can't afford property taxes on a fixed income.

[Old Row Sports @OldRowSports]

“Because you never know when the last one is”

- Kyle Busch, last week

Wow

[Toad @LearnToToad]

Congratulations to the winner of the Kentucky 4th District congressional seat

[Los Angeles Chargers @chargers]

should we REALLY make our schedule release video in halo?

yes yes yesyes
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[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

TRADE OFFER:

The Saints receive: a new tight end
This dog receives: a comfy spot on the couch

[The BOB & TOM Show @bobandtom]

It is with profound sadness that we announce the loss of Bob Kevoian, beloved co-founder and longtime host of The Bob & Tom Show, who passed away peacefully Friday afternoon at his home, surrounded by family and friends. Details regarding memorial services will be shared at a later time.

[Ryan Fitzpatrick @FitzMagic_14]

I had a feeling this day would come @immaculategrid

[Skraxx 🇨🇦🇰🇷 @skraxxy]

How many innings do baseball games go?

[Richard Johnson @RichJohnsonNFL]

Dianna Russini has issued a statement:

“I did something this past weekend that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a woman of faith, as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a home run. And so that'll make it a 4-0 ballgame. I don't know if I'm going to be putting on this headset again.”

[Not Dan Hurley @NotDanHurley]

Someone had to do it.

[Onyx @OnyxOdds]

Rough week for Paul Skenes

[JB @jaysonbuford]

Bill Self is wearing a pullover that you can get at the Kansas athletic store on campus and Pitino is in a suit from Armani. Johnnies by a million.

[Matt Halcomb @halcombisland]

Me making a note to myself after falling for it the past 2 years paid off this year

[Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat]

I fall for St Mary’s every year. Hate myself

[Mike Rutherford @CardChronicle]

Best text line submission today.

This was every Louisville fan 24 hours ago:

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

TruTV pulling up for one month every year