Haley

eavesdropping is what gets me through the day | she/her

[Haley @haleystired]

One of the best lines in music is when Shania Twain said “you’re a fine piece of real estate and I’m gonna get me some land”

[Haley @haleystired]

Getting COVID in the year of our Lord 2025 is just embarrassing 😩

[clare @sadderlizards]

hey boss can i head out early i wanna go home to do some arts and crafts

[Sniff’s Alt @sniffalt]

My partner keep showing orange juice to our orange cat and saying, “this is what happens to bad orange kitties” and then drinking it menacingly 😭😭😭

[mia @httpsosweet]

i should be eating tiramisu right now

[ɑrtɛmɪs @peak_transit]

yeah i support DEI. doofenschmirtz evil incorporated

[Nostos @NostosLit]

― Sylvia Plath

[ally @missmayn]

i would’ve made such a good oil heiress. massive public libraries and unnecessarily beautiful train stations for everyone.

[Nicole @Nicole__Meiner]

Science corner by Haley, science corner by Haley! Science corner by Haley!

[The Sassiest Semite @LittleMissLizz]

The rules are extremely strict because the risk of rejection is extremely high. This is not a new policy. You can’t get a heart transplant without your vaccination because the patient will need to be on anti-rejection drugs for the rest of their life that make them immunosuppressed. If the patient then gets Covid & dies, then the patient dies & the heart is wasted. This isn’t political.

[Maria @mlstrat]

not to brag — lmao — but i was in the room for this and it was absolutely electric

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

they're calling it a PhD

[anna !!! :)) 🇵🇸🌸✨🌸🇵🇸 @frogs4girls]

*door in my house opens on its own*

me: fascinating. there must be quite a temperature differential between these two rooms to create that kind of pressure

the ghost haunting me: (slamming its head through the wall) i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you

[Haley @haleystired]

@miasot0 Congratulations!!!! Making big moves!!

[Haley @haleystired]

@miasot0 Omg congrats Onyx!

[Daily Snoopy @DailySnoopys]

bestfriEND.

boyfriEND.

girlfriEND.

it all ends.

but you know what doesn’t end?

snoopy.

rt if u cried

[elijah daniel @elijahdaniel]

i saw someone a few weeks ago say “if brain eating bacteria got into your head it would starve” and i’ve been saying it to people since. just incredible. a really great insult

[SCAM GODDESS @DivaLaci]

I’m so sick of the six inbred children of the corn deciding if we live or die. Abolish the electoral college!!

[nesrin danan @blackprints]

“i voted for tr*mp because i cant afford groceries!!!” best of luck affording veneers when your teeth fall out from his plan to defluoridate the us water system